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Everything That's Wrong With "Emily In Paris" According To An Actual French Person

First off, we're not *that* mean!

Hi! I'm Marie, I'm French, I live in Paris, and I'm here to talk to you about Emily in Paris.

The author sitting al fresco at a restaurant in Paris.

By now the whole world has seemingly watched Netflix's new show about an American girl's adventures in France.

Emily eating a croissant on "Emily In Paris"

So I thought I'd set a few things straight and share everything that is wrong with Emily in Paris. (Which, for the record, I actually enjoyed in all its ridiculousness!!)

A screenshot of Emily's notes on her laptop.

1. First off, what is this nonsense about Emmanuel Macron being "hot"??

A scene from "Emily in Paris" that says "Look at their president [Emmanuel Macron]. He's young. He's hot."

2. Early on, we're told that Emily's new apartment is a chambre de bonne.

Emily arriving at her Parisian apartment.

But this is NOT a chambre de bonne:

THIS is a chambre de bonne:

A shot of a real-life chambre de bonne — where the shower stall is right next to the kitchen sink.

3. Sure, Paris is filled with love and beauty. It's also often gross and exhausting.

4. No vibrator, no matter how powerful, would blow out the fuse of an entire Parisian neighborhood.

5. This might come as a shock, but we actually work and are expected to come to the office on time.

6. While we're talking infrastructure: No, our plumbing isn't "500 years old. Literally."

A scene from Emily in Paris that says "The plumbing in 500 years old. Literally."

7. I doubt that Carla Bruni and Brigitte Macron send each other dumb memes about aging vaginas.

8. I may be biased here, but hear me out: We're not mean!

Emily telling her friend that the people in Paris are "so mean."

9. And an entire office wouldn't start calling you la plouc because you rub them the wrong way.

Emily being greeted at her new job with "Bonjour, la plouc!"

10. Contrary to what the show would have you believe, older Frenchwomen don't go around screaming at and scheming against young American women.

An old French woman looking out her window and saying "I don't understand. And I've got no mail for you."

11. Not all Frenchmen look like they've just spent a month sunbathing on a yacht, and they're not all massive creeps.

12. I'm sorry, but European cities weren't built with American tourists in mind.

13. You don't have to wear a beret when you're in France.

Emily wearing a red beret.

14. Not everyone hates Normandy.

15. This isn't France-related, but in what world would anyone gain thousands of Instagram followers over a few weeks simply by posting basic-ass selfies?

Emily posting another selfie to Instagram.

16. And in what reality would this ridiculously cheap-looking commercial be deemed good enough to promote a high-end perfume?

17. Le Café de Flore hasn't been cool in over 40 years.

Emily being told "You're sitting at the coolest cafe in all of Paris."

18. You don't need to go to Ralph Lauren's restaurant to get a good cheeseburger in Paris.

A cheeseburger being served at Ralph Lauren's restaurant on "Emily in Paris".

19. And never in my 32 years of being French have I heard about this rule.

Emily being told "Women are not supposed to touch the bottle at the dinner table."

20. I'm guessing this has to do with our reputation for not showering, but...eww!!

21. The sex clichés are ridiculous.

Emily being told "Frenchmen never get tired of having sex."

22. Same with the depictions of French parenting.

23. This must be the single worst (and most historically inaccurate) pickup line I've ever heard.

24. And finally, I just want to say that the real villain of this story isn't Emily's boss or her mean super, but Emily herself.

Emily telling her new French friend, "You're nice and French and you speak English?"