Between vanity sizing, inaccurate measuring charts at e-retail destinations, and the fact that no two bodies are the same, figuring out what size you are isn’t an easy feat.
When you’re plus-size, things get even trickier. Let’s forget, for a moment, that most brands and stores simply stop producing apparel after a size 12. The reality is that a curvier body has, well, more curves. And those curves aren’t something you can easily measure — let alone put into jeans.
I will admit that I am simply not a big denim lover. Whether this is due to my affinity for vintage dresses, or whether it’s a distaste cultivated by the sheer unavailability of comfortable plus-size jeans that fit a 50-inch bum and a 39-inch waist, I do not know. What I do know is that sitting in my closet are clothes — including jeans — ranging from sizes 14 to 20. Just like no two bodies are ever the same, it would seem no two pairs of jeans are ever the same, either.
So because I’m into fashion/beauty experiments (like finding out how photo editors around the world manipulate my features or gauging reactions to my low-rise bikini), I decided to use my median size of a “16” — which is what I find myself purchasing most often — to investigate what different brands and designers think that number actually means:
12. Liz Claiborne
All right, Liz. I’m a little bit impressed. You don’t create lumps where there aren’t any, and you’re long enough to accommodate a 5-foot-10-inch gal’s legs. But camel toe will forever be my personal fashion faux-pas. Some things I like to keep private.
*GOLD STAR RECOMMENDED
Our obsession with being the “right” size is nonsensical. To try to define a “size” is equatable to trying to define a “color.” Much more energy than it’s worth. Sure, I had fun trying to squeeze into pants that were far too small. Because once you get into it, it is actually fun. But there are other things that require far more better use of head space.
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