"WHERE’S SANSA?!" Cersei says, foaming at the mouth. Sansa is OUTTA HERE.
Oh hai creepy ship with creepy Littlefinger.
Did Petyr’s voice get more Irish? Is that because he hasn’t played him for awhile so he forgot his accent? Or that the creepier he gets, the more Irish and gravelly his voice gets?
Is the cut right to Margaery and Olenna after Littlefinger smashing to poison necklace a hint at Olenna’s role? Hmmmmmm…
Ugh, I guess they recast Tommen to an older actor because he would’ve still been a little kid, but I think it’s IMPORTANT that he’s a little kid. WHAT ABOUT THE KITTENS?!
Cersei: complex female characters FTW!
And what does TV do to complex female characters? RAPE THEM.
Blurred lines…blocked poorly…directed terribly…originally written wonderfully in A Storm of Swords…and now. Just UGH.
Anyway. I’m done talking about it for now. Let’s enjoy the good things in life, shall we? Like the wondrous adventures of Arya Stark and the Hound!
I really want to go to a map shop with Sandor. *FAN FICTION SENSES ARE TINGLING*
Just as I’m swooning over Sandor tending to Stranger, he shoots snot out of his nose.
Aw, he wants to join the Second Sons because HE’S A SECOND SON.
Arya mentioning Braavos! Super pumped! Although it also means not so great stuff for Sandor.
Statues of the Seven. Prayer to the Seven. Foreshadowing to Sandor’s future perhaps????
Does Sandor ever take off his armor? I mean…I’m just asking…I bet he smells…
And then he goes and fucks it up. Oh Sandor…you’re gonna want Arya Stark on your side and not against.
So emphasizing all of the rapists — or rapers — is just for the Gilly storyline and has no bearing on the Jaime/Cersei scene? I smell bullshit — and it’s not Sandor’s armor. Or even Reek.
Why do people like Stannis especially someone as awesome as Davos?
Sell swords > Blood magic
Shireen minus Patchface is much better than Shireen plus Patchface.
However, Game of Thrones minus Patchface is not as good as A Song of Ice and Fire plus Patchface.
Even more talk of Braavos!
First Sword of Braavos! Does he mean Syrio?!
Iron Bank! See you soon, Mycroft.
Sam and Gilly’s escapade into Mole’s Town (which may actually be grosser than Craster’s Keep) gets me pumped for their adventure to Oldtown. Summer Islanders next season?!
Wait wait wait wait wait. Was that a rudimentary condom being cleaned out?
Ellaria and Oberyn are such an OTP, I can’t even stand it.
Ew Tywin. Some advance notice would’ve been nice.
Flaccid dick! So we get a dick shot to compensate for the rape scene? Not good enough.
Oberyn: “Some believe the sky is blue because we live in the eye of a blue-eyed giant.” Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah…oh wait now I’m crying.
"Categorically" is not a yes — not like it matters. It’s Tywin after all.
Pod! He’s so thoughtful.
The Oooominous They
And onto the Adventures of Brienne of Tarth and the Pod!
One thing that the show is able to explore more potently than the books is the plight of the smallfolk. Watching faves like Ygritte and Tormund Giantsbane slaughter a village of smallfolk is much more intense than reading about it.
Dolorous Edd and Grenn are back!
Owen Teale is too good as Alliser Thorne because I hate him so much that I hate his face.
Could one Unsullied kill a thousand wildlings? The Unsullied versus the wildlings is a fight I’d love to see. EPIC BOSS FIGHT!
And so we start the tangle that becomes the Mereenese Knot. (Don’t think I didn’t notice the hot guy along the wall.)
Does Meereen really need to be THAT color coded? I mean…really. (Just switch black in the below GIF to blue.)
I love when Dany speaks High Valyrian. She makes it sound like a fancy Spanish-Farsi hybrid.
Ughhhhh are we really ending it with just the start of the Meereen campaign? Now I’m actually interested!
Ignoring that the Jaime/Cersei sex scene was actually a rape! Detective Tyrion tries to solve the case of the Purple Wedding to acquit himself! Tangling the Meereenese Knot!