Why First Dates Are The Absolute Worst

I am in no way a dating expert. If we are being 100% honest, I have only had 2 real boyfriends. So it’s not like I’ve gone on hundreds of dates in my 21 years of living. I have, however, helped my friends with their love lives, though most of them would tell you that I rarely take my own advice. So over the past few years, I have come to many conclusions about dating and how one should go about it. And what better way to share these discoveries than to share them on the interwebs so here it is.

Alright, First dates. We all hate them and if you say that you like these, you are either insane or a liar. First dates are the absolute worst. There’s no way around it. But sadly these need to happen in order to have a second date or *gasp* an actual relationship. The build-up is excruciating. You are worried about how to look making sure to not look too overdressed but also not looking like you just got finished binge-watching all the seasons of parks and rec while eating your way through Taco Bell’s menu (not that I would know about that….nope not at all). Now for some unknown reason, there seems to be this idea that first dates have to happen in one of the following places:

1. The movies

2. Someone’s house

3. A restaurant

4. Some neighborhood or school event.

Let me start off by saying most of these suck. When you go see a movie you just sit there awkwardly not talking and someone is trying to make a move for the next hour and a half with little to no success. Plus, it’s not like either of you will want to admit that you hated the movie the other person picked (because let’s be honest, it is rarely a mutual decision).

Going over to someone’s house adds pressure. And being raised by Latino parents, was completely out of the question, which I’m honestly thankful for now that I am older and not (that) dumb. And I will never and I mean NEVER meet the other dudes' parents on the first date. Nope, no thanks I’m good, if I wanted to to be judged by strangers I’d just go back on Tinder.

Events just are a hassle. You never know how to dress and do you really want the whole world to see the embarrassment and awkwardness that is the first date?

Now restaurants are iffy territory. But in my opinion, they are a pretty good first date option. But it cannot be any kind of restaurant. No, I will always have my first date at a sushi place. Now I know what you are all thinking, sushi? Of all the things you could pick from, you are going to pick sushi?!?!? And my answer to you is yes. And here is why

Sushi first and foremost is the worlds best food (fight me on this I dare you). You can choose from hundreds of options and it will reveal some things I consider important in a dude.

1. It shows if they are willing to try new things or willing to compromise with you. Sushi places more often than not will offer things other than sushi. Most have soups or bowls of teriyaki chicken and other delicious options. I am someone who loves to try new things and this is particularly true when it comes to foods. So to me, it is important that the other person be open minded. One of my exes (I won’t name names because I am all for subtweeting) was very....shall we say, cautious when it came to foods. He was hesitant in trying new foods and things that he was unfamiliar with. So what happens with that? We ended up dining at the same 5 places....4 of them being his favorites. Now I, being the great girlfriend I was, agreed and went to those places anyway. But I shouldn’t have had to do that. I don’t expect dudes to always love what I love, because that would be boring. But I would want them to at least try something new.

2. Another nice thing about sushi is that honestly, it is a shareable food. You can each order rolls you like and then if the other person would like, they can try one of yours without it making a huge mess. But this is also a double-edged sword because there is one thing we ALL know about sushi.

3. There is no cute way to eat sushi. You can’t bite into it because it will all break apart. You just gotta shove that whole piece in your mouth and hope for the best. Some of you are sitting here thinking “ why would I want my date to see me inhaling sushi like there is no tomorrow the first time we go out” and it’s a valid concern. I understand this concern. But hear me out. You don’t want to be a few dates in and then suddenly he ghosts you for not being a cute eater. One, NO ONE IS A CUTE EATER!!!! The sooner we accept this, the easier it will be for all of us to move on. Second, do you really want to be with someone who is that superficial? I certainly don’t! *side note: I’m not talking about things like talking with your mouth full. That’s bad manners and we will not stand for that* So I would much rather lay out the idea that this is the best it's going to get and hope they are somehow okay with it.

Now if you are not a sushi lover (which I really don’t understand but to each their own I guess), pick a food you like that probably isn’t the cutest thing to eat i.e pasta or any sort of noodle really.

First dates are meant to happen so that you can learn more about the other person and often times we treat it as if it’s the first day of classes or the first day of a new job. Sure, yeah you wanna impress the person but also no one in this universe has their life put together nor do they look their best every second of their lives.

So yeah first dates can be really crappy but I guess the overall take of this is to pick a place that you can both agree on and don’t try to be perfect the whole time. Cause let’s be honest, perfection is extremely overrated and the real you is probably significantly more interesting.