20 Signs You’re Dating A Banker

A helpful guide to Wall Street relationships.

1. You know there’s no point in making dinner plans because they’ve already ordered Seamless to their desk.

Emily Orley

But on the flip side, you both have perfected the art of getting a full meal for less than $24.99.

2. You know not to send anything scandalous to their work email because it will get flagged.

All swear-words are also off limits. Fuck. Oops.

3. You can’t send him or her BuzzFeed articles because it’s blocked at the office.

Emily Orley


4. They’ve picked you up in their car service.

Might as well take advantage of the perks, amirite?

5. Dinner conversations are usually about markets.

Emily Orley

Blah blah blah blah GOLD blah blah blah blah. Cool story, bro.

6. Date night has ended more than once with going to their office to update a document.

7. Your bedtime lullaby is conference call white noise.

Pillow talk = a debate about what kind of interest rate they’re willing to agree on.

8. You’ll go to bed before they get home at night and wake up in the morning after they leave for work.

9. You know the hours could be worse (if you were dating a lawyer).


10. You’ve had to drop off a change of clothes at their office before 7 a.m. multiple times.

11. You’re BFFs with their dry cleaner.

12. You’ve sat through Too Big To Fail more times than you would have liked.


It’s a good movie. But not multiple viewings good.

13. You know the whole strategy to bonus ranks and contract renewals.

14. Work functions are like frat parties.

15. Packing for a day at the beach includes blanket, sunscreen, and a computer.

At least you’re out of the office!

16. They’re really good at multitasking.

They can work remotely and listen to you tell a story on the couch at the same time. You think…

17. They can teach you really helpful Excel tricks.

No mouse, no problem.

18. There are 20 Wall Street Journals piled up at your front door at the end of every month.

19. Holidays together? LOL.

Bankers get around 25 vacation days EVERY YEAR! But having them and taking them are two different things!

20. But when you do get time together, you really know how to make it count.

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