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    22 Moms Who Have Zero Fucking Filter

    Mama roasts best.

    We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the most savage thing their moms have ever said. Here are some of the best burns we received:

    E!

    1. The drinker:

    I offered my mom the maraschino cherry from my cocktail and she said, "I think you gave your cherry away a long time ago."

    brynp47fbab040

    2. The smeller:

    I asked my mom why a retail worker gave her a men's cologne sample and she responded, "Because he knows I have a man and you don't."

    tearsofjoy97

    3. The physician:

    I showed my mom a sonogram of her first grandchild and my mom said, “Ewww.” She's a doctor.

    courtneyh4404e4755

    NBC

    4. The parent teacher conference:

    I'm a 24-year-old woman who is dating a high school history teacher. I told my mom that he asked me to go to his school's homecoming with him, she said, "Well, it's about time someone did."

    lydiaar

    5. The IHOP patron:

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    I was born with a flat ass and my mom won't let me forget it.

    monicag444fda3ab

    6. The mirror:

    Aunt: "Every mother thinks her daughter is the most beautiful of them all."

    Mom, looking me over: "...Meh."

    danielg4274f71f9

    7. The dog whisperer:

    8. The gagger:

    I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, but I have a really strong gag reflex, so I started gagging a bit. My mom shook her head and said, "Honey, I feel bad for all of your future boyfriends."

    kher1089

    CBS

    9. The comeback kid:

    Mom: "Why does your ass hang off the seat?"

    Me: "I can't help that I have a Coke bottle figure, Mom!"

    Mom: "Yeah...a 2-liter."

    rebelde199632

    10. The beautician:

    Last winter, I had minor heart surgery. As I was being wheeled out afterward, my mother looked down at me and the first thing she said was, "We should have done your eyebrows."

    madic4fce8c434

    NBC

    11. The working mother:

    12. The prom queen:

    My mom had some of her old high school friends over and I said, "You guys are so fun together! I wonder if you and I would've been friends in high school." Without missing a beat, she said, "Probably not, I was cool in high school," grabbed her margarita, and went outside.

    ericav4669d1aee

    FOX

    13. The OBGYN:

    I was talking about Tori Spelling having a baby and my mom said, “The vagina is a rubber band. If not then someone could drive a bus through yours.”

    wootenkw

    14. The wannabe grandma:

    15. The mathematician:

    Mom: "Aw, sweetie, you’re like one in hundred."

    Me: "I think it’s supposed to be one in a million."

    Mom: "Exactly."

    hayleyw43414cbac

    NBC

    16. The measurer:

    Me: "Ughhh I'm just a big failure!"

    Mom: "No, don't say that! You're only 5'5"; you're just a small failure!"

    ingepronk

    17. The mean girl:

    18. The sunblock:

    We were outside and my mom was blocking me from the sun, so I said, "Move, mom. I'm in your shadow." My mom replied, "Honey, you live in my shadow."

    emmaa4c7bb557c

    19. The friend zoner:

    One day I told my mom, “You are my best friend.” She paused and then said, “Aww. You are my very dear friend.”

    emily9688

    NBC

    20. The surgeon:

    I told my mom I could never be a cardiac nurse because the heart isn’t my forte. Her response was “Well yeah, you kind of have to have one.”

    nadineilanas

    21. The historian:

    I was looking through old yearbook photos and made the general comment, “I think I’ve gotten more attractive as I’ve gotten older.” My mom replied, “Actually, you peaked senior year of high school.”

    angiej4809c6f0b

    22. And the truth-teller:

    Mom: "Where you going?"

    Me: "My ex's house to pick up a water bottle I left."

    Mom: "Make sure to pick up your dignity while you’re there."

    bellah42db8b0f3

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    Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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