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Hilarious One-Star Amazon Reviews Of Disney Movies

Just wait 'til you hear what they say about FROZEN...

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The Aristocats

"The main male feline hero comes across to the audience as a pimp and the main female feline heroine comes across as a whore.""Furtheremore, I would suggest that you avoid this movie for your kids unless you believe that the free sex, free drugs mantra of the 60's and 70's is appropriate for your children.""If I could, I would have given it 1/2 a star."
Disney / Via digitalcopy.com

"The main male feline hero comes across to the audience as a pimp and the main female feline heroine comes across as a whore."

"Furtheremore, I would suggest that you avoid this movie for your kids unless you believe that the free sex, free drugs mantra of the 60's and 70's is appropriate for your children."

"If I could, I would have given it 1/2 a star."

Cinderella

"According to the article, "Children's Culture and Disney's Animated Films," Henry Giroux argues, along with Jane Gallop's "Close Reading," that Disney films are not for little children.""Fairy Godmothers are NOT real.""What Cinderella taught me as a child: 1.everything turns out good in the end2. it is bad if your parents die3. step parents are jerks4. if you are pretty you are nice and will live "happily ever after" and if you are ugly you have no chance at life and are incredibly mean5. everybody best friend should be a mouse (tell that to the last 15 maids that quit after they cleaned up mouse poop in every corner of the house)."
Disney / Via blogger.com

"According to the article, "Children's Culture and Disney's Animated Films," Henry Giroux argues, along with Jane Gallop's "Close Reading," that Disney films are not for little children."

"Fairy Godmothers are NOT real."

"What Cinderella taught me as a child:

1.everything turns out good in the end

2. it is bad if your parents die

3. step parents are jerks

4. if you are pretty you are nice and will live "happily ever after" and if you are ugly you have no chance at life and are incredibly mean

5. everybody best friend should be a mouse (tell that to the last 15 maids that quit after they cleaned up mouse poop in every corner of the house)."

The Princess and the Frog

"Unlike Mulan and Pocahontas, all Caucasians are portrayed as fat, selfish, lazy, or a combination of the three.""If you let them watch something once, you are planting the seed of voodooism (a seed of evil) into their minds and into their thoughts. Think twice about the new, trashy and evil Disney stuff before you buy. You have been forewarned.""THIS MOVIE IS SCARY AND EVIL!!!! IT'S ABOUT VOODOO AND HAS VERY SCARY IMAGES AND SCARY CONTENT!!! NOT FOR CHILDREN!!! AWFUL!!! DISNEY HAS REALLY CROSSED THE LINE!!! WOLF IN ANIMATED CLOTHING!!! NO NO NO!!!! AWFUL!!!"
Disney / Via cdnvideo.dolimg.com

"Unlike Mulan and Pocahontas, all Caucasians are portrayed as fat, selfish, lazy, or a combination of the three."

"If you let them watch something once, you are planting the seed of voodooism (a seed of evil) into their minds and into their thoughts. Think twice about the new, trashy and evil Disney stuff before you buy. You have been forewarned."

"THIS MOVIE IS SCARY AND EVIL!!!! IT'S ABOUT VOODOO AND HAS VERY SCARY IMAGES AND SCARY CONTENT!!! NOT FOR CHILDREN!!! AWFUL!!! DISNEY HAS REALLY CROSSED THE LINE!!! WOLF IN ANIMATED CLOTHING!!! NO NO NO!!!! AWFUL!!!"

Sleeping Beauty

"Don't touch a spinning wheel needle. Problem solved.""Aspiring princesses need to be exposed to more contemporary independent women sich as Rosie O'Donnell, Nancy Grace, Rachel Maddow, Kathie Gifford and my personal favorite, Jane Fonda.""...her parents unload her on a couple geriatric, incapable, clumsy fairies to raise her in the woods."
Disney / Via animationsensations.com

"Don't touch a spinning wheel needle. Problem solved."

"Aspiring princesses need to be exposed to more contemporary independent women sich as Rosie O'Donnell, Nancy Grace, Rachel Maddow, Kathie Gifford and my personal favorite, Jane Fonda."

"...her parents unload her on a couple geriatric, incapable, clumsy fairies to raise her in the woods."

Frozen

"I'm getting really sick and tired of Disney's "girl power" animated flicks... Apparently "true love" of a man for a woman (per Snow White) is now passé""Ugh. Too girl-centric. Don't do it...even if you're a girl! Barf!""I like empowering girls and women, but the fear-based aspect of this movie and the awful "Let It Go" song are terrible...""Then, of course, the parents die. What a great way to start out the movie. How heartfelt...what kid doesn't love seeing one of the world's most unthinkable tragedies play out!"
Disney / Via wordpress.com

"I'm getting really sick and tired of Disney's "girl power" animated flicks... Apparently "true love" of a man for a woman (per Snow White) is now passé"

"Ugh. Too girl-centric. Don't do it...even if you're a girl! Barf!"

"I like empowering girls and women, but the fear-based aspect of this movie and the awful "Let It Go" song are terrible..."

"Then, of course, the parents die. What a great way to start out the movie. How heartfelt...what kid doesn't love seeing one of the world's most unthinkable tragedies play out!"

Alice in Wonderland

"Like the worst of all Disney movies. Chaotic, disturbing, and full of annoying characters.""This movie sucks, one of the worst Disney films. Especially the scene where the flowers sing.""The better Disney features usually have a meaningful lesson or a strong story and they would do better in the future. I liked the Cheshire Cat, though.""They first problem we had was when there was a walrus SMOKING A CIGAR? Thought it was odd for a children's movie, but got over it. Later in the film a butterfly is seen floating on a giant MUSHROOM, SMOKING A BONG?!?!"
Disney / Via blogger.com

"Like the worst of all Disney movies. Chaotic, disturbing, and full of annoying characters."

"This movie sucks, one of the worst Disney films. Especially the scene where the flowers sing."

"The better Disney features usually have a meaningful lesson or a strong story and they would do better in the future. I liked the Cheshire Cat, though."

"They first problem we had was when there was a walrus SMOKING A CIGAR? Thought it was odd for a children's movie, but got over it. Later in the film a butterfly is seen floating on a giant MUSHROOM, SMOKING A BONG?!?!"

The Little Mermaid

"He just saw a mute girl with a pretty face and just all of a sudden fell in love with her? Ridiculous. And I find how obsessed she is with Eric to be annoying and creepy. She was flirting with a statue of him for goodness sakes!""Little meek Ariel gives up her VOICE to get the man. Not too subtle, is it?""Powerful women are scary so they must be EVIL" "Do not respect your father (of course you have no mother, this is Disney).""here is a girl who rebels against her father to get her own stubborn way and in the end seems to be rewarded for it, plus there is a scene of animated nudity in this film as she transforms from mermaid to human"
Disney / Via data3.whicdn.com

"He just saw a mute girl with a pretty face and just all of a sudden fell in love with her? Ridiculous. And I find how obsessed she is with Eric to be annoying and creepy. She was flirting with a statue of him for goodness sakes!"

"Little meek Ariel gives up her VOICE to get the man. Not too subtle, is it?"

"Powerful women are scary so they must be EVIL"

"Do not respect your father (of course you have no mother, this is Disney)."

"here is a girl who rebels against her father to get her own stubborn way and in the end seems to be rewarded for it, plus there is a scene of animated nudity in this film as she transforms from mermaid to human"

Hercules

"This movie is sexist and creepy.""The black gospel music is way out of line for this Greek story. It is not a faithful film."" THANKS DISNEY, YOU'RE PROOF THAT AMERICA IS GETTING DUMBER! HELP! THE PART ABOUT HERCULES BEING STOLEN BY HADES WAS VERY INACCURATE!""In the scene where Pegasus is sort of falling in love with another winged horse (which happens to be Hades's minions Pain and Panic in disguise), it is PINK (gag!) with a heart on its butt, making it look very much like a My Little Pony. MY LITTLE PONIES DID NOT EXIST IN ANCIENT GREECE!"
Disney / Via images5.fanpop.com

"This movie is sexist and creepy."

"The black gospel music is way out of line for this Greek story. It is not a faithful film."

" THANKS DISNEY, YOU'RE PROOF THAT AMERICA IS GETTING DUMBER! HELP! THE PART ABOUT HERCULES BEING STOLEN BY HADES WAS VERY INACCURATE!"

"In the scene where Pegasus is sort of falling in love with another winged horse (which happens to be Hades's minions Pain and Panic in disguise), it is PINK (gag!) with a heart on its butt, making it look very much like a My Little Pony. MY LITTLE PONIES DID NOT EXIST IN ANCIENT GREECE!"

The Lion King

"Disney plaigerized the idea for this movie from another source, and didn't do a good job, to be honest with you.""Here is what happened. Disney wanted to make a Kimba movie, but they could not get the rights. So what did they do? They went ahead and made the movie anyway but made Simba a typical golden lion. Disney swears up and down that they knew nothing of Leo/Kimba while they were making this movie, but there are facts that expose their lies.""Why can't Disney simply produce a fun, morally clean film without imposing a subliminal New Age worldview and a "sex" scene?""Please do not buy this movie, it is anti-american and perpetuates a state where only the elite are well off and lower classes are discriminated agains.""There's Scar's song when he's singing to the hyenas about how everything will be great when he becomes the new king, and how he's going to achieve this by killing King Mufassa. The whole scene is lifted right out of those old news reels of Hitler addressing the Nazi army, right down to a goose-stepping hyena army. What's a child learning from this behavior? Getting what you want/power through violence."
Disney / Via theridernews.com

"Disney plaigerized the idea for this movie from another source, and didn't do a good job, to be honest with you."

"Here is what happened. Disney wanted to make a Kimba movie, but they could not get the rights. So what did they do? They went ahead and made the movie anyway but made Simba a typical golden lion. Disney swears up and down that they knew nothing of Leo/Kimba while they were making this movie, but there are facts that expose their lies."

"Why can't Disney simply produce a fun, morally clean film without imposing a subliminal New Age worldview and a "sex" scene?"

"Please do not buy this movie, it is anti-american and perpetuates a state where only the elite are well off and lower classes are discriminated agains."

"There's Scar's song when he's singing to the hyenas about how everything will be great when he becomes the new king, and how he's going to achieve this by killing King Mufassa. The whole scene is lifted right out of those old news reels of Hitler addressing the Nazi army, right down to a goose-stepping hyena army. What's a child learning from this behavior? Getting what you want/power through violence."

Beauty and the Beast

"it's just a great shame that i found certain characters and morals ruined the movie.""I for one don't understand the glowing love for this movie at all, which is basically about a pompous man who adores himself trying to get a nice sensible lady by all the wrong ways and all the wrong reasons"(There was only one negative review for Beauty and the Beast, and even then, they mostly complained about the quality of the bootleg DVD...)
Disney / Via blogger.com

"it's just a great shame that i found certain characters and morals ruined the movie."

"I for one don't understand the glowing love for this movie at all, which is basically about a pompous man who adores himself trying to get a nice sensible lady by all the wrong ways and all the wrong reasons"

(There was only one negative review for Beauty and the Beast, and even then, they mostly complained about the quality of the bootleg DVD...)

Mulan

"I turned this movie off after Eddie Murphy, playing Mushu, a Chinese ancestral spirit, began to impersonate an African American Christian preacher. Organ music was playing in the background and he began to preach a Chinese ancestral-religion version of an "altar call." I feel that this movie is racist and minimizes Christianity, African Americans, and Chinese people. It is full of stereotypes and promotes the same constant Disney values of "parents are stupid, don't obey them," "violence is the best solution after talking fails" and "all religions are the same."""Mulan was never a victim of misogyny. In the real story of Mulan, the men who found out that she was a woman, weren't angry. On the contrary, they were pleased! Because they've underestimated what women can do.""i didnt like this movie because the dragon took away from plot. Mulan has too much western style in it.plus Mulan is not pretty enough!""Eddie, we know your drug addiction is using up a lot of your money, but that is no excuse to sell your voice to a shotty movie like this! ""mmmmuuuullllaaaannnn ssssuuuucccckkkkssss!!!!"
Disney / Via images6.fanpop.com

"I turned this movie off after Eddie Murphy, playing Mushu, a Chinese ancestral spirit, began to impersonate an African American Christian preacher. Organ music was playing in the background and he began to preach a Chinese ancestral-religion version of an "altar call." I feel that this movie is racist and minimizes Christianity, African Americans, and Chinese people. It is full of stereotypes and promotes the same constant Disney values of "parents are stupid, don't obey them," "violence is the best solution after talking fails" and "all religions are the same.""

"Mulan was never a victim of misogyny. In the real story of Mulan, the men who found out that she was a woman, weren't angry. On the contrary, they were pleased! Because they've underestimated what women can do."

"i didnt like this movie because the dragon took away from plot. Mulan has too much western style in it.plus Mulan is not pretty enough!"

"Eddie, we know your drug addiction is using up a lot of your money, but that is no excuse to sell your voice to a shotty movie like this! "

"mmmmuuuullllaaaannnn ssssuuuucccckkkkssss!!!!"

Just remember, in the immortal words of Snow White...

Tumblr / Via tumblr.com
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