1. Keep people you're not crazy about "on the back burner."
2. Play games of text chicken.
3. Be "nice" by constantly agreeing.
4. Find a little love on the side.
5. Try some negging.
6. Wait an arbitrary number of days for post-date contact.
7. Check your phone for "work emergencies" during a date.
8. Over-text...and under-text!
9. Get creative with the details in your online profile.
10. Be a dating elitist.
11. Make fake future plans you have no intention of keeping.
12. Kiss and run.
13. Date only while under the influence.
14. Subject your date to your standup routine.
15. Strategically plan dates that show off your secret talents.
16. Come out of the woodwork after complete radio silence.
17. Adhere to an absurd dating checklist.
18. Lie whenever it seems convenient.
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