In Defense Of The Marshmallow

When Thanksgiving arrives, haters love to take high-falutent jabs at the gem of Americana that is the gooey marshmallow-topped sweet potato casserole. Cloying yet irresistible, marshmallows deserve to be resurrected as the fluffy and flexible staple they are. Behold their many wonders.

1. They Put the Charm in Lucky Charms

There is no question. Childhood would be impoverished without the AM sugar high, after-school pick-me-up, or pre-bedtime nightcap perfection of fluorescent Lucky Charm happiness. Whether you swear by the marshmallows first, marshmallows last, or combo-bite strategy, no other cereal experience quite compares.

3. Relive the Saturday morning glory.

4. They Help Us Probe the Human Mind

So irresistible are the fluffy confections that scientists have been using this “pièce de résistance” in studies about willpower in the 1960s. Can’t resist that cloud of goodness calling out your name for fifteen minutes? It’s ok. Neither could 70% of 4-year-olds tested. We are all slaves to the marshmallow!

5. They Make Ideal Chemistry Models: Marshmallows = Polymer Components in Plastics

6. Marshmallows Demonstrate Boyle’s Law

400 Marshmallows Expand and Deflate in a Vacuum

7. They Transform Cocktails Into Dessert

S’moretini Shooters

1/2 ounce marshmallow vodka (or vanilla, whipped cream or cake flavored vodka)

1/2 ounce Godiva chocolate liqueur

1/4 ounce Bailey’s Irish Cream liqueur

3/4 ounce cream/half and half

chocolate syrup or hot fudge

graham cracker crumbs

vanilla frosting for glass rimming

mini marshmallows

Yes, please.

8. Boozy Yum

Chocolate Smores Martini

10. And if the drunchies set in…

There are more where that came from.

12. S’mores. Kumbaya. Yes.

13. Marshmallows (like Mozz Sticks) are AMERICA.

See this kindred appreciation.

14. …but also infinitely versatile

17. Ooey and oh so gooey…

Toasted Marshmallow S’Mores Bars

19. Drinkable

Toasted Marshmallow Milkshake…sip and savor or gulp til it’s gone.

20. Spreadable

The age-old question: does a fluffernutter count as lunch? It is a sandwich, after all…

21. If not lunchable, then at least launchable!

President Obama gets in on the launch action with Joey Hudy’s “Extreme Marshmallow Cannon” at the White House Science Fair. This kid is clearly a genius. Tax dollars for Science Education FTW.

22. Marshmallows Allow for Important Cultural Commentary

Brad and Peepalina

As if Downton Abbey could get any more delicious, behold Peeton Abbey.

25. And finally, they love you.

How can you resist?

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