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Double Tapping Without The Intention To Do So

There are several instances where a social media user makes the disastrous error of liking someone's picture without the intention to do so, I call it the Double Tap of Death. It begins with you, the cursed individual, scrolling through pictures and all-of-a-sudden when you meant to tap the screen, your finger just did a quick twitch and there you have it, you just liked the picture of your friends dead grandma from 6 months ago. Realistically, there are several scenarios which can lead to one user accidentally liking another users content without the intention to do so. I have created a 5-step guide for what you, the CURSED individual, can do if you are ever unfortunate enough to accidentally like pictures that you did not mean to.

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1. Freak out. Yell. Scream. Cry.

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Cut off your damn thumb! That treacherous limb deceived you by starting this whole mess. In order to prevent this from ever happening again, you shall cut it right off, preferably with a butter knife.

2. Hide.

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People everywhere are probably talking about how you liked a picture of some random girl's softball team that you claim to have been scrolling through on Instagram's explore page. Did you know that this specific female knows a few people from your school? She does. However, she definitely does not know you. Don't bother unliking the picture now, she knows, she got the notification the minute it happened.

3. Deactivate everything.

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You are OFFICIALLY SUSPENDED from using any social media until further notice. We have a national crisis on our hands and the only way to get ahead of it is to prevent any instance of it from ever happening again. On the bright side however, you may find that you will become more familiar with other apps like the Clock app or the Stocks app in the meantime.

4. Dispose of your cellular satanic device.

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You no longer need you smartphone, now that you are going to be outted as a creepy stalker who likes random people's posts. You think anyone is gonna believe that it was an 'accident?' Everyone saw this coming, you were turning your head way too much in class and making WAY WAY WAY too much eye contact with the ground and ceiling. So yes, the solution is to go throw your phone into a well. Can't find a well? Go searching because lakes and rivers won't work for a disaster of this magnitude. Throw your thumb into the well too. By the way... how is your hand? The blood should have stopped by now. If it hasn't stopped, give it about another hour and then we will see if you need to go to the hospital.

5. Time for some identity theft.

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Congratulations, you've officially made it to the end. You physically cut off your thumb, you hid from your fellow peers, you deactivated your social being, and you got rid of your phone. You have made it to the end, you may have thought that several of the tips I gave you were a tad...dramatic. However, being a WebMD enthusiast, I practically have my pHD. Here's where your parents may start telling you that you're getting out of hand but just give them the silent treatment, they should have had your back from the moment this SOCIAL TSUNAMI even started, but instead, they told you to get a grip and that no one probably noticed. So here is what you are now going to do, enter into the most shadiest private room (ex. Omegle) and just throw out your login details. Yes, you read that correctly. If people are going to believe that you did not actually like that picture of some dude's missing cat from years ago, you are going to need a bulletproof alibi. Don't even bother double-checking your Instagram because some weirdo is probably posting pitch black pictures or pictures from Google Images as you read this. For the dedicated and adventurous readers out there, you can go one step further and give ALL of your private information on Omegle, or maybe even Craigslist. It depends on how quick you want the cops to show up at your house.

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