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73 Thoughts Every Woman On Tinder Has

"I should have deleted this a long time ago."

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1. Ok, I'll just take a peek.

2. My God, this guy looks like he's from Magic Mike.

3. Well, almost. Definitely less defined.

4. Where do these guys go for drinks?

5. Ah, I get it, they do Cross Fit together.

6. What age preference do I put? From 30 to 35, right? I want someone mature!

7. Ah, I better broaden the range, otherwise nothing shows up. From 29 to 36. Done.

8. "28 friends in common." Is that good or bad???

9. Ok, I'll like this guy and I can already imagine he'll like me as well, hehe.

10. AH!!! We already matched!


12. I still got it.

13. Hehehe, Tinder makes me feel a bit like a teenager. c:

14. LOL nevermind, he didn't reply to my "hello", its all over now :(


15. Hmm, so I have to decide if he's the future father of my children based on these five pictures.

16. But how's my profile? Do I also have red flags?

17. Will I really meet someone using this thing?

18. God, this guy must only go for women with six packs just like his.

19. Hello, parachute picture.

20. Aaaaand my friend's shitty ex...

21. *Texts image to friend*

22. OMG, almost swiped right on him. PHEW.

23. Oh my god. It's been 30 minutes. I just spent 30 minutes on this dumb thing.

24. I don't even have the wardrobe to go out with someone that travels this much.

25. Is it true that the men that come up first are the ones that already liked me?

26. Oh God, am I seeing men that are complete weirdos or is it just me?

27. A surfing photo.

28. Another surfing photo.

29. And one more.

30. Surf.

31. I'll have to check the surfing population census data because it's impossible that the ENTIRE HETEROSEXUAL MALE POPULATION surfs.

32. Obviously, this is going nowhere.


33. Just one profile pic? No sir, this doesn't even deserve a like. Bad form.


35. Tinder should not allow photos with drugged lions. Seriously.

36. I feel my hands are... dirty.

37. "In the event of a duckface, press the X" - I am not, but I'll press the X extra hard anyway so you can feel it!!!!

38. Honey, do you think it's attractive to put all those rules in your profile?

39. What am I doing arguing with my phone screen?

40. I should have deleted this app a long time ago.

41. But it's so good to see what's on "the market." Right?

42. Do all heterosexual men visit Machu Picchu???

43. What do I do with all these matches? Is it like a reservoir for the people who don't want to go out and flirt on the street?

44. Men "like" me and don't talk to me afterwards.

45. Well, I can too!

46. Ok, I'm going to elevate the level. From now on, I'm a decisive woman. Swipe swipe swipe.

47. Oh, noooo, "where do you live?" again.

48.The answer being "within the radius you indicated, idiot".

49. I think it's just about being patient and asking interesting things.

50. Oh wow, just had a decent chat! We exchanged three sentences without him skeeving me out.

51. Except now the conversation's just over, I'm pretty sure.


52. A lot of dudes sure like hugging dogs.

53. Ah, I got it. It's a ploy to look sensitive. They love animals!

54. I mean, I do love dogs -- BUT I AM AWARE IT'S A TRICK, OK!!!

55. Ok, I'll marry this one. He's got really pretty eyes.

56. Oh nice, he's got a few pics with guns. Greeaaaaat.

57. Pic with three other people. I got it - the game is to guess which one is the guy.

58. And the same girl is in every one of these - looks like a girlfriend!

59. This is the most horrible thing ever invented.

60. I keep imagining coming up on one of these guys' phones, and them pressing the X.

61. This is such a downer.

62. This one's with a lion statue. At least it's not a passed-out animal. Whatever, I'll swipe.

63. Ugh, more "rules". Gross.

64. Ok this is not for me, I need to delete this.

65. Or should I? I'll just check it a little more, I need to give this a chance for something to happen, and...

66. Look at this man!! He seems normal and cute! Definitely swiping.

67. *Uses mental powers to make him like me as well*

68. Omg, I really hope we match right away.

69. No. No. No. No. No.

70. NO I pressed the X accidentally! Come back, love of my life...

71. [Stock photo of a woman with stockings 50 Shades of Grey style]: ?????

72. Ok, I'm done. Nope, goodbye.

73. [In the bar: mental swipe on the guy that just passed by.]