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The 10 Emotional Stages Of Anyone Who’s Ever Had To Move

Congratulations! You’re moving into a brand new home. Let the decorating commence... if you can survive the move first.

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Stage 1: Inspiration

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Before your nightmare begins, spiral into a Pinterest-induced decorating fantasy. Get lost in restaurant reviews and food delivery options for your new digs. Enjoy the calm before the storm.

Stage 2: Purge

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You’ve got to make room for all the new belongings you plan to acquire for your new space. Applaud yourself for embracing a minimalist mindset on par with the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up way of life.

Stage 3: Denial

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Acquire a laughably inadequate number of “fancy” boxes for what you believe will suffice to pack your belongings. Later you will transport remaining objects in laundry baskets and garbage bags.

Stage 4: Seduction

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Convince your friends to help you with the task-at-hand with the promise of beers and pizza. Because testing the limits of your friendship requires a good meal.

Stage 6: Exasperation

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Let the arguing begin between you and your roommate/significant other/children/friends regarding how to pack/move/protect key belongings and which items to keep/toss. Insist that you know the best way to do everything.

Stage 7: Depression

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Suddenly loathe everything you’ve ever saved or purchased and regret your decision to not renew your lease. Realize that it’s too late to turn back. Use your hot, salty tears to scrub your bathtub.

Stage 8: Bargaining

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Consider burning all remaining belongings and abandoning your conventional life. Google “How to live as a Buddhist monk” to determine viability of giving up all of your material belongings.

Stage 9: Acceptance

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Suck it up and power through the transport of your remaining assets. Or, spend an obscene amount of money on moving and cleaning crews to help you put an end to the torment. Either way, swear to never again move for as long as you live.

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