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12 Fetishes That'll Make You Feel Vanilla As Fuck

*Casually fantasizes about eternal damnation*

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8. Forniphilia: Arousal from turning a person into a piece of furniture.

Nickelodeon / Via giphy.com

To allow oneself to be objectified as a piece of furniture by their dominant partner is the ultimate submission, therefore the ultimate aphrodisiac, for a forniphile.

10. Salirophilia: Arousal from the disheveling or soiling of someone's well-groomed appearance.

Nickelodeon / Via sponges-with-square-pants.tumblr.com

Salirophiles get off on someone attractive and put-together getting disheveled and dirty, but this does not have to include any nudity or bodily fluids.

NOTE: While these paraphilias and fetishes are largely harmless preferences, there is a problem if they are causing mental stress or involve non-consenting partner/s.