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20 Things People Who Work From Home Are Sick Of Hearing.

Seriously...just no. Stop speaking.

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1. "You work from home, so likeeee you're jobless?"

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Absolutely, because stressing myself out and pulling out my hair to meet deadlines is just a hobby. You should totes try it out.

2. "Everyone had to work so can you pick me up from the airport?"

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Oh yea, I forgot that I'm "jobless" so would you like me to pick up your kid too? How about those prescriptions sitting at the pharmacy? OH WAIT, NO I CAN'T BECAUSE I HAVE A f**KING JOB. I have deadlines, client consultations and *gasp* business cards.

3. "Being your own boss must be AWESOME!"

That's right, I OWN THIS PLACE, I am the god damn Messiah of awesome...but when I decide to procrastinate by binge watching Parks and Rec on Netflix while pinning EVERYTHING on Pinterest, I have to eventually pay for my shit. I have no one to call me out on my bullshit or supervise my productivity. The fact is I'm the worst boss ever.

4. "And you don't have to clock in or out."

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Revert back to #10...all that extremely necessary procrastination causes for late night/early morning cram sessions, and totally weird working hours...because who the hell needs sleep? Not me, Apparently

5. "You make THAT much money on ONE job? YOU'RE SET!"

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Yes, I am set…if paying myself about 2 dollars out of THAT amount means I'm "set". Not to mention the amount of money I spend on printer ink could probably buy me a 2nd house in Tahiti. Totally set.

6. "You must get really lonely."

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This one is true...there definitely are times that I walk around to non-existent cubicles and have small talk with invisible people…OK, not really but I do talk out loud quite a bit. And...I'm pretty sure the mail lady hates me for my on going conversations about what happened on Parks and Rec. Meh. Whatever.

7. "So...do you ever see people?"

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Look, I'm in the creative field...I literally set the bar for social awkwardness. Butchering sentences like, "Hi, Mandi am I, how you are?" happen more than I'd like, but yes, I do see people. Sometimes it can be a few weeks at time and trust me, I'm totally ok with that.

8. "Oh-ma-gahhh you are basically like Carrie Bradshaw!"

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If I wrote books about sex and men issues in New York with an unfathomable income, then yes...I would be like Carrie Bradshaw. Think of me as the 180 of exactly that.

9. "You're always home! Your house must always be so clean!"

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My house is a damn disaster, I think a tornado threw up in it and OMG I HAVE A CLIENT COMING IN 20 MINUTES, QUICK! THROW F**KING EVERYTHING IN THE CLOSET.

10. "Not to mention all the time you have to workout!!"

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I can barely motivate myself or have the time to go pee somedays, you really think I'm going to do a pushup? That is a whole lot of NOPE. Even if I had the time...I still wouldn't do it, to be honest.

11. "There is NO WAY I could motivate myself at home."

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It can be tricky from time to time but when motivation hits you...it HITS YOU and you're basically all "I OWN THIS BITCH, I AM NEVER GOING TO STOP, I AM OWNNINGGG IT" and then somehow 3am appears.

12. "Hey, lets go for some Mimosas' it's a work snow day!

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What in the actual f**k is a Snow Day? I don't have those, I only get "Wifi Days" and when that happens...I'm raging on the phone with the internet company for at least 5+ hours threatening lives to get it back on and working.

13. "You're so lucky that you don't have to be on the phone all day."

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Yea, me and my clients communicate solely upon brain waves and sometimes ESP our thoughts to each other *eye roll*

14. "And you have no coworkers to deal with."

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My coworkers are the people I live with. They annoy the living hell out of me while I'm working and distract me non stop and ask for THINGS. THINGS. ALL. DAY. LONG. I don't have a Karen from HR to go bitch to about it either. FML

15. "When you have kids you won't even need daycare!"

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hahahahaha. I already have the keen ability to distract myself with a piece of glitter on the ground. Self motivation is hard enough as it is...adding more distractions to my work with KIDS? OMG NO. Just NO. My kids will be going to daycare just like yours, I can guarantee that.

16. "Must suck not getting any benefits..."

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Thank you for reminding me of that, I TOTALLY forgot. One sec while I gobble down this bottle of Xanax and then figure out how to afford the next bottle.

17. "Well, at least you can drink while working!"

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Technically, yes I can and I will admit that some of my best ideas come from the bottom of a wine bottle. But you can only blame your massive email typo's on your kid— or in my case, the neighbors kid—so many times before it just doesn't work anymore.

18. "How do you get anything done when you're in pajamas all day??"

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Call me crazy, but SOMEHOW my brain continues to function while in pajamas. Isn't that just WILD?

19. "So is your goal to own a huge company?!"

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My big goals for the first few years were to pay myself more than $5 dollars. This year I hope to make like $15.

20. "Sounds like A LOT of negatives...so why do you do it?"

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Because I LOVE what I do and wouldn't trade it for the cubicle world anyday. Where the hell have you been this whole time?

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