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This Website Will Ruin Beanie Babies For You

No one was asking for beanie genitals. No one.

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Meet the Weenie Babies.

Your eyes are not deceiving you: these are Beanies with penises.

And pubic hair. And balls.

Why would someone do this?

Why would someone look at an adorable animal-shaped bag o' beans and think, "Yup. I'm gonna sew a big ol' dick on this bear"?

We may never know.

While these are no longer for sale (thank god), the images remain...

...and will haunt us forever.

And if you--for some reason--REALLY WANT ONE, you can get a slightly less terrifying version here.

The best things at three price points