How To Bring Out Your Inner Wednesday Addams
Here are 12 steps to help you become your somber, sadistic dream girl.
1. Get pale.
2. Forget how to smile.
Your teeth are now in hiding - DO NOT LET THEM OUT.
Eventually you can pull out the smile for extremely special circumstances in which you need to unsettle everyone around you.
3. Fill your closet with her signature attire.
Have the dress, but lack the collar?
4. Braid your hair.
If you're completely inept when it comes to braiding, just buy a wig.
5. Find suitable heroes.
6. Drink your daily poison.
A bottle is fine for when you're out and about, but use a mug in the morning.
7. Be assertive.
9. Speak the truth.
Brutal is the way to be.
10. Start stockpiling useful ingredients.
You never know when a little cyanide will come in handy (especially if you're babysitting your brother).
11. Fully commit when performing.
Make the audience believe that you're really bleeding out on stage; if there isn't a splash zone, you're not trying hard enough.
12. Pursue your passions.
Your enthusiasm should always be kept in check EXCEPT when witnessing the sizzling effects of high voltage electricity upon the human body....
The fact is, Wednesday Addams is an icon and a hero...
...and you should honor her as such.