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23 Products Everyone Who Hates Everyone Needs To Own

Just leave me alone.

Andrew Richard / BuzzFeed

We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page.

1. A scarf to scare chatty folks away.

Just point to it whenever someone tries to start up a conversation.

Get it from Amazon for $19.99.

2. A tee that understands your personal hell.

Get it from Chummy Tees on Etsy for $22.95 (available in two different colors and men's and women's sizes).

3. Pencils for when you're exhausted from dealing with literally everyone.


Get them from Amazon for $8.99.

4. A bracelet stamped with your *true* name.

The name is Thrope. Miss Ann Thrope.

Get it from Knotwork on Etsy for $16.

5. A hoodie for someone who'd rather be abducted by aliens than work on a group project.

Get the hoodie from Redbubble for $53 or a tee for $25 (available in a ton of different colors and men's and women's sizes from small to 3XL).

6. A giant body pillow for those times when you actually want to cuddle.

Bonus: Plush cats don't talk.

Get it from Amazon for $74.95.

7. And a pillow that's an extra-strength defense against bullshit.

Get it from Betty Turbo on Etsy for $20.

8. A pair of gloves that will do all your talking for you.

Talk to the hand. Literally.

Get them Talkigloves from on Etsy for $39.99.

9. A tent to turn your bed into an escape pod.

Get it from Amazon for $129.99 (available in twin, twin XL, full, or queen... plus a variety of different colors).

10. A tote for anyone who prefers the company of canines.

🐶 > 👱

Get it from Cassandra Berger on Society6 for $13.

11. A bottle opener made for drinking alone.

Pop some tops and then hang it on your door. These brews are just for you.

Get it from Amazon for $6.05.

12. A laptop sticker to help you avoid small talk when you're working in a coffee shop.

Get it from Andi Bird on Society6 for $20+ (for a variety of different laptop and tablet sizes).

13. An ostrich pillow that lets you hide your head in the "sand."


"Ludo isn't here."

"But I can see you..."

"No you can't."

Get it from Amazon for $15.58.

14. A baseball tee to gesture to when someone invades your personal bubble.

Get it from Look Human for $24.99 (also available in tee, tank, and hoodie form and five different colors).

15. And a decal to guard your door for you.

Get it from Iinky on Etsy for $14.99.

16. An adorable brooch to communicate how antisocial you are.

Get it from Jesiiii on Etsy for $20.

17. Wrapping paper to use when someone forces you to go to a party.

"I told you I didn't want to go!"

Get it from Julie Ann Art on Etsy for $4.99.

18. Socks for those who prefer to be a party of one.

Get them from Yeah Bunny on Etsy for $14.

19. A set of prints featuring famous recluses.

Thomas Pynchon, Emily Dickinson, and J.D. Salinger = #LifeGoals

Get them from Terrific Friends on Etsy for $40.

20. A print celebrating the sweet sound of silence.

Get it from Meera Lee Patel on Etsy for $30.

21. A pin featuring a quote from The Man Who Came to Dinner that'll make you say, "Me."

Get it from Kate Gabrielle on Etsy for $13.

22. And a pin for anyone who knows that one doesn't have to be the loneliest number.

Harry Nilsson totally had it wrong.

Get it from Urban Outfitters for $10.

23. And a mug featuring a plant who's as antisocial as you are.

Get it from Amazon for $19.

Bye forever.

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