1. A bank that will keep you from ever saving any money.
Because you're too busy shuddering at how fucking awful it is to add any funds.
2. A work of art that will inspire you...to evacuate your bowels.
3. A mask that would make an *actual* pug's hair stand on end.
4. And a mask that's made to look like your face.
5. Earrings that look like earthworms burrowing through your ears.
"Have you met my pets?"
6. A cat that seems to enjoy the sensation of hot liquid pouring out of its mouth a little TOO much.
8. A horrific sculpture of a zombie baby eating its own umbilical cord.
9. A repugnant mouth soap dish plus some tongue-shaped soap.
10. A banana who needs to keep it in his peel.
11. A repellent reptile ring.
12. A tissue box that will manage to make you feel even sicker.
13. A ring that's as fancy as it is frightening.
14. A notebook emblazoned with sinister sausage-y beings.
15. A garden statue that will make your skin crawl.
16. A vintage nutcracker that's shaped like a pair of legs.
Want to disturb everyone in your office? Just walk around clanking these together like a pair of castanets.
17. A gruesome towel that looks bloody when it gets wet.
18. An evil-eye necklace to skeeve out anyone who looks at your neck.
19. The most unpleasant soap you've ever seen.
20. Kewpie dolls that will make you want to remove your eyeballs from their sockets.
21. A ghastly bobble pig that will terrorize you from your car's dashboard.
22. A chair that your ass should have nothing to do with.
23. A vintage figure that looks exactly like Christopher Walken in Sleepy Hollow.
He wants your head.