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25 Products That Are Creepy As Fuck

No thank you.

1. A bank that will keep you from ever saving any money.

Because you're too busy shuddering at how fucking awful it is to add any funds.

Price: $10.99

2. A work of art that will inspire you...to evacuate your bowels.

etsy.com

The perfect decor for any dental office.

Price: $100

3. A mask that would make an *actual* pug's hair stand on end.

firebox.com

What's that you hear? Yes, it's the sound of a pack of pugs conspiring to destroy this monstrous thing.

Price: $77.09

4. And a mask that's made to look like your face.

5. Earrings that look like earthworms burrowing through your ears.

"Have you met my pets?"

Price: $20

6. A cat that seems to enjoy the sensation of hot liquid pouring out of its mouth a little TOO much.

Meooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Price: $60

7. And this dog that really needs to step away from the wine barrel.

Price: $29.90

8. A horrific sculpture of a zombie baby eating its own umbilical cord.

etsy.com

Probably not the best baby shower gift.

Price: $350

9. A repugnant mouth soap dish plus some tongue-shaped soap.

etsy.com

Price: $16 and $19

10. A banana who needs to keep it in his peel.

feelgift.com

Call. The. Cops.

Price: $49

11. A repellent reptile ring.

perpetualkid.com

"Will you marry me?"

"LUDO! WTF KIND OF ENGAGEMENT RING IS THIS?"

Price: $11.99

12. A tissue box that will manage to make you feel even sicker.

feelgift.com

Better to let let the mucus dribble down your face than to interact with this snot demon.

Price: $24

13. A ring that's as fancy as it is frightening.

loveadorned.com

Please close your mouths, ring people. Please.

Price: $7,000

14. A notebook emblazoned with sinister sausage-y beings.

etsy.com

The artist claims that these are "pink jelly beans."

....

........

No.

Price: $7.91

15. A garden statue that will make your skin crawl.

gadgetsandgear.com

I'm not a botanist, but I'm pretty sure this will cause most plants to shrivel up and die.

Price: $24.95

16. A vintage nutcracker that's shaped like a pair of legs.

Want to disturb everyone in your office? Just walk around clanking these together like a pair of castanets.

Price: $210

17. A gruesome towel that looks bloody when it gets wet.

gadgetsandgear.com

After using this, your guests will head straight from the bathroom to the front door.

Price: $17.95

18. An evil-eye necklace to skeeve out anyone who looks at your neck.

etsy.com

Price: $110

19. The most unpleasant soap you've ever seen.

etsy.com

Price: $6

20. Kewpie dolls that will make you want to remove your eyeballs from their sockets.

japantrendshop.com

The unholiest of angels.

Price: $55

21. A ghastly bobble pig that will terrorize you from your car's dashboard.

gadgetsandgear.com

Yeah, you'll probably end up going off the road if you have to keep catching a glimpse of Slicey the Pig.

Price: $8.95

22. A chair that your ass should have nothing to do with.

etsy.com

You think it's a chair, but it's actually a portkey straight to hell.

Price: $420

23. A vintage figure that looks exactly like Christopher Walken in Sleepy Hollow.

Paramount Pictures

He wants your head.

Price: $19

24. A pin cushion that will turn sewing into a nightmare.

etsy.com

I think it can feel pain.

Price: $80

25. An appallingly foul box to store your knickknacks in.

etsy.com

Price: $30

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