1. A bulldozer to help you lift up a big ol' slice of cake.
If you don't need a bulldozer to help you lift your cake, you haven't cut a big enough piece.
Get it from Amazon for $18.97.
2. A cat who sticks out his tongue only when you're peeling vegetables.
3. A silicone pot and bowl lid that'll protect you (and your kitchen) from splatters and spills.
The clear lid allows you to monitor whatever you're cooking with ease.
Get it from Amazon for $9.40.
4. A set of cards printed with cocktail recipes (instead of aces, spades, or hearts).
5. A ~wavy~ stainless steel knife to use for decorative cuts.
6. A ceramic bowl to eat from when you finally give up your controller to let someone else take a turn.
8. A set of letterpress coasters for beer lovers.
9. Glass storage bowls decorated with illustrations of junk food like pizza and French fries.
10. A cake carrier that collapses after the party's over.
Even if you have a kitchen the size of a small country, it's always nice to save space.
Get it from Amazon for $23.20.
11. An adorable way to plan your meals (or remember what you need to grab at the grocery store).
12. Beautiful drinking glasses with "geode" bottoms.
13. A lopsided bowl that you can use to (easily!) make an omelette in the microwave.
14. A wooden spoon you can have personalized with an engraving.
15. An owl cup with a lid (for people who are prone to spilling).
16. Or a mug shaped like Hedwig (may she rest in peace).
17. An easy-to-install, under-shelf tool-hanging system.
18. A cheap aprons printed with an array of funny phrases.
19. A food storage container that will help you solve the ol' "can I still eat this?" question.
21. A print covered with the recipes for 12 classic cocktails (so you never forget how to make 'em).
22. A peeler (that looks like a giant pencil sharpener) for creating garnishes.
Or... use it to make a cucumber face mask.
Get it from Accessory Geeks for $8.99.
23. A personalized stencil for adding a ~special~ (powdered sugar) touch to every cake you bake.
25. A print to make tea drinkers chuckle (and sing) as they wait for their water to boil.
26. A set of brightly colored silicone trivets you can stick right in the dishwasher.
Get them from Amazon for $11.99.
27. A lockable ice cream pint container to keep your hungry roommate out of your Ben and Jerry's stash.
28. A carrot-shaped container for your — you guessed it! — carrots.
29. A ~magical~ steel fish to "naturalize" the scent of onions or garlic from your hands after cooking.
Get it from All Modern for $11.99.