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29 Perfect Merit Badges For Adults

Your selfie skills will finally be rewarded!

1. For being the last one to roll in to the office on a daily basis.

etsy.com

Sorry, boss.

Get it here.

2. For when you turn down plans because you're "busy," but "busy" just means sitting with your cats and watching Netflix.

stayhomeclub.com

Why leave your happy place?

Get it here.

3. For having "no less than two scars from craft related injuries."

etsy.com

They're your version of battle wounds.

Get it here.

4. For having an Instagram feed that's at least 65% pictures of yourself.

etsy.com

You'll have to take another one with this badge.

Get it here.

5. For when you start to get a bit aroused when you walk by the cheese counter at Whole Foods.

etsy.com

You have a lot in common with rats and mice and you're totally fine with it.

Get it here.

6. For when you get tipsy and send off a string of gibberish messages to everyone on your contacts list.

etsy.com

"I misssdss yuo;u so mcuh."

Get it here.

7. For never feeling the painful crunch of colliding with an open taxi door as you pedal home.

etsy.com

A true accomplishment for city cyclers.

Get it here.

8. For being able to "hip-hop, bebop, dance till ya drop, and yo yo make a wicked cup of cocoa."

etsy.com

Yes, you're a hip old granny and Euphegenia would be proud.

Get it here.

9. For reading the Harry Potter books so many times that you have all of the spells memorized.

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Accio patch.

Get it here.

10. For paying extra for guac each and every time you go to Chipotle.

etsy.com

You avocado aficionado you.

Get it here.

11. For when you slip a little something into your coffee and your juice and your soda...

etsy.com

It's 5 o'clock always.

Get it here.

12. For when--after yet another horrible Tinder date--you finally get your priorities in order.

etsy.com

Now where's the ketchup?

Get it here.

13. For when you reach the end of your lengthy quest to find the perfect shade of red lipstick.

etsy.com

Here's hoping that they don't discontinue it. Stock up now just to be safe.

Get it here.

14. For when you sneak into the hotel pool late at night and "forget" to put on a bathing suit.

etsy.com

Bonus badge for stealing someone else's clothing while they're skinny dipping.

Get it here.

15. For keeping LOST and Charlie's memory in your heart forever and always.

etsy.com

Never forget.

Get it here.

16. For surviving the Zombie Apocalypse much, much longer than Lori Grimes did.

etsy.com

Just be sure to stay alert as you sew this onto your vest.

Get it here.

17. For when you put together the perfect mix for a cross-country road trip.

etsy.com

Just can't wait to be on the road again.

Get it here.

18. For when you figure out how to respond to some dude who tries to talk to you when you're reading on the subway.

etsy.com

"That doesn't answer my question."

"No thanks."

"That still doesn't answer my question."

"No thanks."

Get it here.

19. For when the succulent you keep on your desk stays alive for over a month.

etsy.com

TBH, it's not that hard....but good work!

Get it here.

20. For when you actually manage to eat the recommended daily amount of fruits and vegetables.

etsy.com

Sorry, pizza.

Get it here.

21. For when your coffee mug is basically one with your hand.

etsy.com

Coffee crankin' through your sys'.

Get it here.

22. For when your mind immediately jumps to "aliens" whenever you're asked why something happened.

etsy.com

The truth is out there. And it's extraterrestrial.

Get it here.

23. For when you watch so many Wes Anderson movies that you actually start to become a Wes Anderson character.

Are you more Max Fischer, Steve Zissou, or Margot Tenenbaum?

Get them here and here.

24. For when your dancing makes everyone else in the vicinity increasingly uncomfortable.

etsy.com

Johnny and Baby taught you well.

Get it here.

25. For when your fingers are permanently paint-stained and you're using knitting needles to hold up your hair.

etsy.com

Skull and cross-tools.

Get it here.

26. For always keeping in the cutoff spirit even in the deepest depths of winter.

etsy.com

Like Tobias Fünke. But not.

Get it here.

27. For eating two packages of bacon in one sitting.

etsy.com

And then a side of waffles.

Get it here.

28. For always being at least four steps ahead of the trends.

etsy.com

You've been geeky since the womb.

Get it here.

29. For when you're almost to third base before you realize you're on a blanket in the middle of a crowded beach.

etsy.com

Take it inside, folks.

Get it here.

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