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22 Perfect Valentines For People Who Have No Time For Feelings

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Tequila is cheaper than dinner for two.

Posted on February 07, 2016, 14:01 GMT

Mallory McInnis

1. For the Valentine who needs to save money.

2. For the Valentine who ~excites~ you.

3. For the Valentine who'll get you where you need to go.

4. For the Valentine with an interest in zoology.

5. For the messy Valentine.

6. For the Valentine who thinks that slow and steady wins the race.

7. For the Valentine you want to get skeletal with.

8. For the Valentine who would appreciate a bit of scatological humor.

9. For the Valentine you pester.

10. And for the Valentine who pesters you.

11. For the Valentine you have whale-y strong feelings for.

12. For the Valentine you're somewhat ambivalent about.

13. For the Valentine who could be an extra in a Tim Burton movie.

14. For the Valentine who appreciates poetry.

15. For the Valentine you have no regrets about.

16. For the Valentine who makes some missteps.

17. For the Valentine who needs some direction.

18. For the Valentine with one thing on their mind.

19. For the Valentine who needs a formal invitation.

20. For the Valentine who may be feeling sheepish.

21. For the valentine who better be thanking their lucky stars.

22. For the Valentine you're always texting the eggplant emoji to.

Still can't find ~exactly~ what you're looking for? Here are 31 more unromantic cards for you to choose from!

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