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23 Coloring Books That Would Ruin Your Childhood

Your crayons will be horrified. Slightly NSFW.

1. Sex Position Coloring Book: Playtime for Couples

amazon.com

Because there's nothing more arousing than whipping out some crayons along with your dick.

2. Dinosaurs Smoking Weed

etsy.com

The plot to the next Jurassic Park movie?

3. Colour Me Good - ARRGGGHHHH!!

amazon.com

Because coloring books obviously aren't fulfilling their duties if they're not making you scream in horror.

"C is for candle wax / that drips down your spine / a burn that quells real quick / reminding you that you're mine."

5. Color Me Drunk: A Drinking and Drawing Activity Book

amazon.com

How many drinks before you can't stay inside the lines?

6. The Zombie Apocalypse: The Almost Adult Coloring Book

amazon.com

Make sure to put this book in your bunker for when the zombie apocalypse comes.

7. Vampires

amazon.com

Sharpen up your red crayons.

8. Vampires & Zombies

amazon.com

The best of both worlds — plus, the 3D glasses are a nice touch.

9. The Fetish Coloring Book

amazon.com

Not only does it include "equal amounts of both naked women and men," but there's also a tasteful game called "Find the Pussy."

10. Steampunk Designs

amazon.com

**Shivers**

11. Why Is Daddy Sad on Sunday?: A Coloring Book Depicting The Most Disappointing Moments in Cleveland Sports

amazon.com

Daddy will hear the sound of markers uncapping as he weeps into his nachos on the couch.

12. Wolfie Toons Adult Coloring Book

"If you like roasted buns and a good laugh, now you can color each bottom the exact shade of pink you desire."

If pink crayons could hide, they would.

13. Great Scenes From Horror Stories

amazon.com

Great material to give anyone nightmares for approximately two years.

14. Mature Coloring Book

For when you graduate from coloring in rabbits of a forest nature...to rabbits of a sex toy nature.

15. Gangsta Rap Coloring Book

amazon.com

Now you just need to put together an appropriate music mix to color to.

16. Play With My Boobs!: A Titstacular Activity Book for Adults

amazon.com

There's no use lying: We know you're going to start working "titstacular" into your vocabulary. Thanks, "D.D. Stacks."

17. Story of World War II

amazon.com

Learning about history is important, and yet... this probably isn't the best way to help a child comprehend the horrors of war.

18. Dinosaurs With Jobs

amazon.com

Bleak.

19. The BDSM Coloring Book: An Activity Book for Kinksters With Crayons

amazon.com

"Kinksters with crayons" = a tragically untapped market...until now.

20. Cannabis Insanity: Cool Coloring Book

amazon.com

Boobs, wings, a forked tongue and giant fangs — cool...or HORRIFYING? Let your stoned brain be the judge.

21. Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

etsy.com

Yee haw.

22. Heavy Metal Fun Time Activity Book

amazon.com

The only problem: It's hard to color when your hands are in the devil horns position.

23. The Big Coloring Book of Cocks

"Color up your praise of the great phallus with the Big Coloring Book of Cocks!"

Or just decline that invite. Either or.

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