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23 Coloring Books That Would Ruin Your Childhood

Your crayons will be horrified. Slightly NSFW.

1. Sex Position Coloring Book: Playtime for Couples

Because there's nothing more arousing than whipping out some crayons along with your dick.

2. Dinosaurs Smoking Weed

The plot to the next Jurassic Park movie?

3. Colour Me Good - ARRGGGHHHH!!

Because coloring books obviously aren't fulfilling their duties if they're not making you scream in horror.

"C is for candle wax / that drips down your spine / a burn that quells real quick / reminding you that you're mine."

5. Color Me Drunk: A Drinking and Drawing Activity Book

How many drinks before you can't stay inside the lines?

6. The Zombie Apocalypse: The Almost Adult Coloring Book

Make sure to put this book in your bunker for when the zombie apocalypse comes.

7. Vampires

Sharpen up your red crayons.

8. Vampires & Zombies

The best of both worlds — plus, the 3D glasses are a nice touch.

9. The Fetish Coloring Book

Not only does it include "equal amounts of both naked women and men," but there's also a tasteful game called "Find the Pussy."

10. Steampunk Designs


11. Why Is Daddy Sad on Sunday?: A Coloring Book Depicting The Most Disappointing Moments in Cleveland Sports

Daddy will hear the sound of markers uncapping as he weeps into his nachos on the couch.

12. Wolfie Toons Adult Coloring Book

"If you like roasted buns and a good laugh, now you can color each bottom the exact shade of pink you desire."

If pink crayons could hide, they would.

13. Great Scenes From Horror Stories

Great material to give anyone nightmares for approximately two years.

14. Mature Coloring Book

For when you graduate from coloring in rabbits of a forest rabbits of a sex toy nature.

15. Gangsta Rap Coloring Book

Now you just need to put together an appropriate music mix to color to.

16. Play With My Boobs!: A Titstacular Activity Book for Adults

There's no use lying: We know you're going to start working "titstacular" into your vocabulary. Thanks, "D.D. Stacks."

17. Story of World War II

Learning about history is important, and yet... this probably isn't the best way to help a child comprehend the horrors of war.

18. Dinosaurs With Jobs


19. The BDSM Coloring Book: An Activity Book for Kinksters With Crayons

"Kinksters with crayons" = a tragically untapped market...until now.

20. Cannabis Insanity: Cool Coloring Book

Boobs, wings, a forked tongue and giant fangs — cool...or HORRIFYING? Let your stoned brain be the judge.

21. Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

Yee haw.

22. Heavy Metal Fun Time Activity Book

The only problem: It's hard to color when your hands are in the devil horns position.

23. The Big Coloring Book of Cocks

"Color up your praise of the great phallus with the Big Coloring Book of Cocks!"

Or just decline that invite. Either or.

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