29 Things You Need If You're A Child Trapped In An Adult's Body
These products might make you laugh, but they aren't ~kidding~ around.
We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
1. A desk-sized inflatable tube pal to turn your desk into the best party spot this side of the street. The other side already has a used car lot...so.
2. A fruit bouquet that's gonna please picky eaters who know produce must be very cute if it is to be consumed.
Get it from Edible Arrangements for $69.99.
3. Or a box of cereal for adults who refuse to grow out of their potty humor, even when their bowels seem to be cracking their own ~crappy~ jokes lately.
Slowing metabolisms are no joke. Eat that fiber, ya'll!
Promising review: "This should be called 'take a dump like an elephant.'" —Vincent B.
Get it from Amazon for $11.99.
4. A zip-up tote with a secretly sensational pattern that'll make your heart dino-saur.
Get it from ModCloth for $59 (available in four styles).
6. A tiny tub of fried chicken erasers to lightheartedly erase your mistakes when your assignments get rough – gotta remind the other English majors that *you* are the top of the ~pecking~ order.
Promising review: "My son was missing KFC during lockdown so I bought this as a joke gift – he loved it! It's a great product and it had fast delivery during these uncertain times." —Firebox Customer
Get them from Firebox for $8.99.
7. A chunky knit cotton blanket for when you've gotten to the age where you can spot a draft from a mile away and need to cover your shivering self with a blanket worthy of a toddler's nap time.
Promising review: "I gave this as a gift to my nephew and his wife. I wanted something washable, so they'd really use it. The style fits perfectly with their neutral rustic modern industrial vibe, and they love it. He says it is like one of those weighted blankets that is so comforting, and she says it keeps her warm while still letting some air circulate. They are happy, so I am happy." —Sharon G. Mensing
Get it from Amazon for $51.99+ (available in 10 colors and 15 sizes).
8. A bestselling print – an imaginative way to inspire your adventurous soul to put the ~petal~ to the medal.
This Black- and woman-owned small businesses is filled to bursting with beautiful, bold prints.
Get it from LovelyEarthlings on Etsy for $25.31+ (available in two sizes).
9. Guion The Lion, a charming picture book for grown-ups who never want to lose their imagination.
This book is a great selection for beefing up inclusive reads in your own family's library. To write this happy story, author Rebecca Wilson Macsovits pulled inspiration from her son, who has Down syndrome. She effortlessly celebrates the imaginative adventures that can happen when we embrace those who think differently than we might. I personally own this book and am so glad to have a character like Guion on my shelves!
Get it from Amazon for $17.99.
10. A cleaning putty for making the most mundane cleaning tasks way more fun. Ironically, this slimy substance can be used to remove the actual slime your children make/squish into every remote and keyboard in your home.
Promising review: "I was skeptical at first. I was afraid my keyboard would be all gummed up with yellow slime! The opposite was true, it cleaned it as good as new. This got all those dog hairs between the keys! Now there is no smell lingering on keyboard or my hands. There's no sign I even used it except a clean keyboard. It's even kind of fun to play with. Squeeze it between your fingers! LOL My next task for it will be those dust return air vents on our heating system and to use it on my dusty window blinds. This stuff works and I highly recommend!" —ZZZZZZ
Get it from Amazon for $7.99.
11. An octopus shower caddy so you can hold tentic-all of your stuff in one super convenient (and only slightly silly) place.
Promising review: "This is my second one. The first lasted years. They are totally weird and awesome. There is no soap scum and no mildew because they hang. The shower stays so clean with no work. Plus, you get a funky octopus. At first I felt like it was not organized to have everything hanging, but now I love that everything is in one spot in the bath and that they are all easy to dispense from right there." —D. Oblinger
Get it from Amazon for $32.95.
12. A pack of pizza box socks that are sure to be the ~cheesiest~ accessories you've ever worn.
Although little you wouldn't have even touched the ones with mushrooms. P.S. This box includes four pairs of socks!
Promising review: "Normally socks are a pretty crap gift for Christmas, but not in this case. I got a better reaction from these socks than I did from any other gift I gave this year. Everything arrived in perfect condition, and looked exactly as it did in the photos. The presentation is fantastic and such a great idea. That was basically the whole reason I bought them, but the recipient said she loves wearing goofy, colorful socks, so this gift will be appreciated beyond the initial fun of opening for the very first time." —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $25.99 (available in two sizes).
13. A toilet night light so you can walk into the bathroom with confidence, even in the middle of the terrifying night. You're never too old to be afraid of what's lurking inside of the toilet bowl.
The flexible design makes it possible to fit this light into any toilet bowl. And this thing has a lifetime guarantee!
Promising review: "This is calming, creepy, soothing, eerie, beautiful, functional, and needed. It’s strangely satisfying to enter the bathroom in the dead of night and see the brilliant blue light glowing from between the lid and the seat. And to lift the lid and be greeted by a welcoming portal of soft brilliant light to guide you to intended target; magic." —3senough
Get it from Amazon for $14.95.
14. A windshield sun shade that's sure to be a great way to make friends with your neighbors – ~eye~ don't think you're gonna be able to get in your car without someone complimenting your sweet ride ever again.
15. A rad pastel bed set sure to give you the kind of psychedelic beauty rest only a candy-for-dinner high could create.
This set includes a duvet cover and two pillow cases.
Promising review: "I love this comforter! It’s great quality and it’s beautiful." —Victoria Barton
Get it from Amazon for $39.90+ (available in four sizes and three colors).
16. A saucy sticker that'll totally be everyone's ~taste~ in notebook decor.
Shop small and support Black-owned businesses from this darling Etsy account!
Get them from Royal Turtle Co. on Etsy for $2+ (available in seven sauces and two styles).
17. An enamel pin to honor the sass you would serve your parents when they asked you to keep your room clean — a life joy you lost the day you first heard the term "cleaning checks" in the dorms.
This WOC-owned shop is a daaarling place to find feminist and body-positive gifts, decor, and trinkets.
Get it from Little Woman Goods on Etsy for $10.75.
18. A DIY fingerboard and half-pipe so you can relive the glory days of your high school skateboard career, even though you're worried you'd slip a disk on an actual skateboard these days.
19. A pack of bubblegum wax melts that'll melt your hard adult heart the minute you breathe in this nostalgic scent.
This Black- and woman-owned shop was started by professional soy wax candle maker, Joanna, who has filled her shop with scents and stickers both kids and adults will adore.
Get it from Kid In A Candle Store Co. on Etsy for $3.99.
20. A dino shower attachment or toilet paper holder for pretend paleontologists who have continued loving fossils a skele-ton since the first time they stepped foot in a natural history museum.
Promising review (shower head): "This is hands down great. If you’re thinking of an awesome yet shocking addition to your bathroom... this is it. I bought this shower head because I wanted to wow my houseguests and boy did it work! Plus, my husband gets a kick out of it! This is the best bathroom addition." —Andria Kaplan Aylyarov
Promising review (toilet paper holder): "I bought this as a gift. I was afraid it would look like plastic close up. I was relieved to find it looks just as good as the picture. It also comes well packaged to prevent damage. My brother installed it right away and sent a picture to show me how much he likes it (he's 30). He has never sent me a picture of a present before. I'm pretty sure it his favorite gift from me." —Katherine BF
Get the shower head for $14.95 and the toilet paper holder for $32.90, both from Amazon.
21. A sunny watering can that'll make gardeners with a youthful humor giggle every time they tend to their plant family.
Promising review: "My mother-in-law loved it. It's cute and a fully functioning watering can. It's medium in size, but holds a lot of water." —Jacob Johnson
Get it from Amazon for $22.95.
22. A Disney princess print to show off your Sleeping Beauty love in a way that's slightly less startling than singing "I know you!" to strangers on the street.
This woman-owned Etsy shop is one of my go-to places to get gifts. As someone who shops for Disney/Pixar products like a six-year-old with an adult's allowance, this shop's clever prints are some of my favorite finds.
Get it from Laura Stites Art on Etsy for $12+ (available in five sizes).
23. A perky pair of sunglasses every six-year-old on the block is gonna go heart eyes over whenever you walk by.
Promising review: "These are the perfect dupe for summer and look amazing on almost every face shape. They're also very durable. I ended up getting multiple colors." —GlamazonDiaries
Get them from Amazon for $10.31 (available in 19 colors).
24. A pair of lightsaber chopsticks that'll be a surprisingly practical utensil set any lifelong Star Wars fan would Jedi for, no matter how grown up they may seem.
This set includes two lightsaber chopsticks. The "force" is strong with these (i.e., batteries are included).
Promising review: "These are the coolest chopsticks I have ever seen. The instructions for use and cleaning were clear and concise and the light that they give off is amazing!" —Jennifer P. Lane
Get them from Amazon for $12.97.
25. A ceramic serving tray for people who practically live for puns, and who are more than happy to lend a helping ~hand~ at the next dinner party they attend.
Promising review: "I LOVE this serving dish! It looks exactly like the pictures." —Charlotte E.
Get it from Anthropologie for $48.
26. A one-pound bag of marshmallow cereal so you can finally make the breakfast you always told your mom you would eat every day when you grew up. Just don't tell your dentist.
This bag of fluff has over 1,000 five-star reviews – you definitely won't be the only adult chowing down on this sugar high.
Promising review: "I initially bought these as a joke, but the joke was on me because they are amazing. I'm on my third bag and I will probably keep buying these forever. They always arrive fresh and uncrushed in their bag. They taste just like Lucky Charms marshmallows. They're good by themselves, but they're particularly delicious in hot chocolate. These are a childhood dream come true." —Therescille
Get it from Amazon for $10.99.
27. A ray gun nose and ear hair trimmer for when your hair starts growing out of control and you need a way to laugh about it (but also destroy it).
I actually have (and proudly use!) this nose hair trimmer. I bought it because I was tired of waxing my nose aaaand because I wanted it as bathroom decor. Fortunately, it works as great as it looks! It's efficient, painless, and easy to clean. I've had mine for months and it's still going strong! It's a useful ol' son of a gun.
Get it from Firebox for $18.99.
28. A building block coffee mug so you can customize your mug in a way absolutely no one can confuse as their own. If they say they thought it was theirs, you can be certain they are ~toying~ with you!
This mighty mug is compatible with LEGO, PixelBlocks, Mega Bloks, KRE-O, K'NEX Bricks, and more!
Promising review: "I first saw this mug at the office and I fell in love with it. I had to have one. I bought one and my kids instantly claimed it to be their own. Applying the Legos proves to be soothing and calming. One can spend a countless amount of time with this mug. When one is stressed, the mug can be a stress reducer. The mug can be used for people of all ages (with the exception of age restrictions). Purchase one for yourself. It will be one of best decisions you make in a long time." —TLS
Get it from Amazon for $11.75+ (available in five colors).
29. And a toilet paper holder that'll make your baaahthroom beautifully fun and delight even your rather ~sheepish~ friends.
Me when the Gen-Zers tell me I'm not using the word "cap" correctly:
Reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.