28 Slightly Embarrassing Products You'll Probably Be Glad You Can Buy Online
Nobody needs to know you stock up on anti-diarrheal medication. They just don't.
We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
1. A Squatty Potty that'll make using the bathroom a breeze for your bowels, it's just that waiting in line with a poo-stool in your hand would really have you down in the ~dumps~.
Promising review: "I like to poop. It's literally the first thing I do in the morning. This makes it even more enjoyable. I bought this about a month ago for my wife and I. We are pretty healthy people and have no 'problems' when it comes to #2. But with this you just sit down, put your feet up, and bombs away! It feels like a straight pipe coming from your colon. Remember those difficult to push out BM's? No more! With just a slight push, you are done. Gravity takes over, and out it comes. This is how the human body was designed to poop. We literally pooped like this for thousands of years! I recommend this to all my friends, who laugh at me until they try it. Stop making it hard on yourself when you poop. This is by far the best bathroom accessory you can buy!" —jjl1911
Get it from Amazon for $24.99 (available in two sizes).
2. A nickel foot file sure to give you such smooth results you'll know it was worth every penny.
Promising review: "I love this. It removed so much after one use – more than any other after multiple uses. The picture is just from one use (pictured above, right)." —ctnightmare
Get it from Amazon for $14.99.
3. A weed cookbook for aspiring home-chefs who would rather not explain to the teller where they get their...ingredients.
This cookbook includes drool-worthy recipes like rib-eye with weed chimichurri, raspberry peach pie, french bread pizza, and spinach artichoke dip. Your tastebuds are gonna be covered no matter where the munchies take you!
Promising review: "I was super surprised with how informative this book was. Besides having great recipes that span beyond baked sweets like brownies, it has info on terpenes, oils, butters and just about every other form of ingredients you could possibly need to prep these recipes as well as shopping, storage, dosing, foods to counteract the high when someone eats too much and a lot more I haven't even delved into yet. I ordered a copy for myself as well as one for my daughter who is a chef in legal Las Vegas and I am really happy with how well done this book is compared to the last canna-recipe book I purchased." —Monique Q.
Get it from Amazon for $27.
4. A shoe spray to greatly improve your rather pungent, sweaty scent (and buying it online means you won't have to ~sweat-it~ at the register).
Promising review: "For some context, I am a college student. My dorm room is small and would quickly smell with a bad odor due to my shoes being taken off and left there. I use this product by spraying the inside of my shoes every time I take them off. This product does a good job at not only removing the bad smell of my shoes, but replacing it with a pleasing mint! At times, I also spray this directly onto my feet before putting my socks on. I will continue to buy this product for my shoe-smell needs." —Chicago, IL
Get it from Amazon for $12.90.
5. A five pound gummy bear – it's gonna taste delicious but it would be ~beary~ embarrassing if the public found out your sweeet dinner plans.
Promising review: "This thing is bigger than my head! And it packs a delicious flavor! I tried a bite of the ear just to leave this review, then I had to put my phone down to eat three more bites because it's so good! I bought this as a 'just because' gift for myself and I'm happy I treated myself to this! This was totally worth the money! I would buy this many more times!!" —Lexy
Get it from Amazon for $29.
6. A tongue cat brush that'll make your cat *incredibly* happy but would also make the line at the pet store incredibly awkward.
7. A lice kit – handy to have on hand when things get a little ~hairy~ at home, especially when you can avoid people giving your 'do some stares at the grocery store.
Promising review: "This product is absolutely amazing and the comb is by far the best comb I have ever used when treating lice. I bought this kit because my daughter (who has dark, thick hair) brought home lice. I applied it to her dry hair and let it sit for 20 minutes and rinsed it out. I then combed her hair with the comb. This is the ONLY comb I have seen get the eggs out easily." —SherryAndKeegan
Get it from Amazon for $29.95.
8. A hearty bottle of Poo-Pourri to keep your bathroom smelling beautiful, because we all know that everyone poops but we still like to pretend that fact doesn't ~stink~.
Promising review: "One bathroom in an apartment just isn't enough for two adults with healthy colons. Enter Poo-Pourri. It has an amazing scent. It's very fresh and not overpowering, and it isn't synthetic smelling. With most room sprays, you end up just smelling flowery poo. This masks the smell completely. I can walk in the bathroom 30 seconds after my boyfriend and only smell lemon." —Allison H
Get it from Amazon for $9.11 (available in 20 scents).
9. A pack of disposable urinals for camping and road trips and *not* for explaining to the fellow at the gas station why you're only buying these and a 52-oz soda.
This biodegradable pouch is filled with a unique polymer substance which absorbs liquid waste and turns it into an odorless, spill-proof gel.
Promising review: "As embarrassing as it is to admit, I used this in the car on a road trip. I didn't know exactly what to expect but I was thrilled with the outcome! I pulled over, positioned myself over the bag, and it was easy peezy! The crystals absorbed the urine and there was no mess or smell. I have kids and these will work great for them too. I'm really glad I bought these. We travel with our dog EVERYWHERE and we can't leave him in the car to stop for bathroom breaks at rest stops so these have already proven themselves perfect for traveling." —Racquelle
Get a pack of six from Amazon for $17.99.
10. Or a Go Girl – it might not be the conversation starter you wanna have with your cashier, but it's gonna save the day when ~urine~ need of a bathroom and can't find a toilet (or prefer peeing standing up).
Promising review: "I peed everywhere. That bush? Yep. Peed on it! That tree? Uh huh. Peed on it. Those tiny woodland creatures? Screw you, b*tches! Peed on them. You just hold it in place, pull your pants down just enough for it to stick out, and pee. No more taking your pants all the way off. No squatting. No accidentally peeing down the side of your leg. When you're done you just shake it out, rinse it if you can, and stick it back into the container. Easy PEEsy." —Dawn Elizabeth
Get it from Amazon for $12.99 (available in two colors).
11. A memory book that'll cover the not-so-Instagram-worthy moments your family shares together. Nobody needs to know you'd rather record your kid's worst bowl movements before their first steps.
Promising review: "It's not always about the cute stuff! This book has been a must buy gift for all of my friends and family members who have had children or who are expecting. Everyone always gets a kick out of it and I like to think that somewhere down the road my nieces and nephews might enjoy reading it and laughing about the funny and disgusting things they put their family through. It definitely brings a much needed sense of humor to baby books! Because we all know that its not always about the adorable things children do that make us laugh." —iknwxaclywhtthysay
Get it from Amazon for $12.19.
12. A pack of hemorrhoid wipes for granting your bottom some relief (buying it online relieves you of having to go anywhere when you're feeling so sore).
Promising review: "These are the very best in the market by far, whether you have hemorrhoids or not. These wipes are the only ones that will stay wet until the very last one, the only ones that will never break or shed, the only ones that you can easily pick one by one without grabbing a few extra, and if you do have hemorrhoids these would be an absolute life changer." —Sarasota
Get a 4-pack from Amazon for $21.24.
13. A jug of bed bug spray best to buy from the privacy of your own pest-infested home, unless you're prepared to watch everyone start phantom-scratching while standing next to you in line.
Promising review: "My grandson came to visit and left something to remember him by. BEDBUGS. We tried so many products until I think the bugs waited for the new flavors. I was so frustrated!!!! I was ready to burn the house down and build a new one. I saw the reviews one dreary, sleepless night and decided to try once more. I was not disappointed. This stuff works. I mean actually works. I recommend this to anyone who hasn't slept in months with their eyes open. You will not be disappointed." —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $54.97.
14. A bidet attachment because let's be real, you don't want *anyone* to know you're just now picking up on this terrific toilet trend.
Promising review: "Where has this thing been my entire life? I love it! I don’t have any complaints at all. I had no problems installing it, which surprised me because usually there’s something that goes wrong. My partner mentioned that the water is cold, but I don’t notice that, tap water temperature feels just fine to me. I’m saving so much toilet paper that I’ll pay for this in probably a year. Admittedly, I was a huge toilet paper user, I like to be clean. I’m also saving water, because I previously had to flush at least three times to make sure the toilet didn’t get plugged with excess toilet paper." —Donna Gettys
Get it from Tushy on Amazon for $79+ (available in five styles).
15. A box of gas relief pills that'll be easy to buy from the comfort of your own (currently pungent) apartment.
16. A DIY crafting book for clever crafters who will fur-ociously hide the evidence of where these cute critters came from.
Promising review: "If cat hair is what you have then this book is what you need. Or if you have a super cat loving mother, such as myself, then you buy this for her for her birthday and laugh your arse off at her reaction to opening this as a present. Now my mom says she's going to make me some cat hair mittens for Christmas. One can only hope!!" —Erin
Get it from Amazon for $10.74.
17. A bottle of Carpe antiperspirant foot lotion that just might finally get your perpetually sweaty feet dry...aside from the tears of joy they'll be crying when this ships.
Promising review: "Bought this for my boyfriend who is on his feet all day and was always complaining about how sweaty his feet got. He usually had to bring at least one extra pair of socks to change into during the day. He also had to buy shoes more often because of how they smell. It would be impossible for us to get out the smell. Since he began using this product, he can't believe how dry his feet stay ALL day. His socks don't even smell after a full day of work. He's now obsessed and it's become a part of his daily routine." —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $14.85.
18. A balm for help in clearing up toe jam, ringworm, and rashes basically as fast as you can click "add to cart."
Promising review: "This is the best product I've ever spent money on. After using this for less than a week I have seen such major healing that I think Amazon needs a 10-star rating option! NO LIE....I've had a fungal foot infection I caught from gardening. I am very meticulous about hygiene. It has been awful dealing with the look of it and the itching. Sometimes I'd stay up all night because of it. It looked so bad I never took pictures without my shoes on. But after using this for just a week (I want to cry right now) it has cured my feet!" —pascale green
Get it from Amazon for $34.97.
19. A tube of toothpaste to ease your gums. Buying it online is gonna ease your worries about people thinking it's because you never floss (you sometimes floss).
Promising review: "I wish I could give more than five stars. I started using this two weeks ago and I have already seen a huge difference on my gums and teeth. My gums look healthy and my teeth are clean and even whiter!! I most definitely recommend this to anyone trying to bring their gums back to life." —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $5.92.
20. A serial killer coloring book – a way to destress in this true-crime-loving world, even though it's sure to look ~sketchy~ to anyone who doesn't share your...interests.
I own this coloring book and I have to hesitantly say, it's a lot of...fun? For those who enjoy true crime there's really no better activity for ya! The pages are filled with objects and images connected to each killer. I like to color in a page while listening to a story each person. I do.
Get it from Amazon for $7.92.
21. A box of anti-diarrhea medication that'll soothe your stomach. This'll be good to have on hand *before* you and your date go enjoy some all-you-can-eat chicken wings.
Promising review: "I can't survive without these things. I have quite a sensitive stomach and any greasy or spicy food works like Drain-O on my stomach. So if I know I'm going to have some food like that I'll use these to settle my stomach. Without these I would be stuck on the toilet for an hour or two. These things are a lifesaver to keep on you, and are essential for any home." —Reviewer
Get it from Amazon for $6.68.
22. A nail biting polish you can grab online if having one more person telling you to stop biting your nails will be the final ~nail~ in your coffin.
Promising review: "This really helps!!! I've been biting my nails to the nub for 24 years. I have nails now and I don't bite anymore; that's all I wanted. This product made that happen. It taste SO bad, I never realized how much I subconsciously put my hands in my mouth until I used this. However, I figured I should warn you/give you guys a heads up, be prepared to taste this on ANY AND ALL foods you have to eat with your hands. To me, that was a small sacrifice I was DEFINITELY willing to make to get my nails to this point. I don't even need to use it anymore because now I'm more aware of my nails. All in all, I HIGHLY recommend this product." —Kelsey Walton
Get it from Amazon for $15.50.
23. A bag of marshmallow cereal (with only the marshmallows) that you're gonna love...as long as nobody knows you're a dentist who just bought marshmallows for breakfast.
Promising review: "This is my soulmate snack. Buying these charms was one of the best decisions of my life. The bag is twice the size of my head. The marshmallows are aesthetically pleasing and delicious. It's everything I ever wanted in a snack." —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $10.99.
24. A caffeinated butt mask sure to wake up your skincare routine but likely scandalize the nosey shopper behind you in line. But hey, they could use a little self care wakeup call! All butts deserve love!
Promising review: "I will definitely be investing in more of these masks. I was a bit skeptical to try a must for my butt (lol) but I actually felt it work! I felt the firmness and detox! I would recommend trying it, I will be purchasing more for sure. Thumbs up!" —Lauren
Get it from Amazon for $9.95 (available in four styles).
25. A wine glass that'll bring you joy every time you touch it, far more joy than you'd have if the teller were to say, "Wow! You must really love wine!"
Promising review: "This glass totally surpassed my expectations. I thought it was going to just be a cute gag gift for Christmas but the quality is fantastic. It will last forever. I bought it for my aunt, who loves her wine, and she truly enjoyed this. Paired with a super sized bottle of Pinot Grigio and she was happy. :)" —Dani
Get it from Amazon for $17.99+ (available in two styles).
26. An anti-fungal polish for anyone who can no longer stand the site of their fungus-filled nail art.
Promising review: "This is a wonderful product. I was doubtful that a non-prescription would work, but this has. In about two months, the infected nails have peeled off and new nails have grown. All I did was put a layer over the toenail every night before going to bed. Highly recommended!" —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $15.68.
27. And finally, a four twenty candle for those who want to celebrate their favorite "holiday" every day. A candle this great is gonna be (drumroll please) dope.
Promising review: "I absolutely love the scent. I gave two to my daughter in laws, of course we had a laugh because I had no idea what four twenty meant and why there were Maryjane leaves on the boxes." —Marsha P
Get it from Homesick for $29.95.
When my Amazon account sees how many of these I actually need:
Reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.