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    38 Products For People Who Don't Believe In New Year's Resolutions

    🎶 You say you wanna resolution 🎶

    We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    1. A sweatshirt that'll let everyone know what your "new year, new me" game plan is. And by that I mean, changing nothing at all.


    My life cardio routine will also include running from my problems, feelings, and responsibilities.

    Get it from ModCloth for $45 (available in sizes S–XXL).

    2. A box of Soylent to keep you fed even when you refuse to start cooking more in the new year. Because learning how to cook is for overachievers who have too much time (and new cooking gear) on their hands.


    Get a box of 12 from Amazon for $37.05 (available in four flavors).

    3. A cozy sleeved blanket for anyone who happily plans on continuing to cancel nights out and snuggle up at home on Fridays. Social lives are for 2020, we're pretty sure.


    Plus, 2019 is for Game of Thrones. Literally no one will blame you.

    Get it from Amazon for $34.99 (available in three styles and 15 colors).

    4. A pair of marble weights so you can laugh in the face of workout resolutions... this thing is clearly decor only.

    Free People

    Don't get me wrong, it's important to be active. But it's also important to have a healthy dose of aesthetically pleasing ironic decor in the home. I read that somewhere. Pretty sure.

    Get them from Free People for $100 (available in three colors).

    5. Or a water bottle dumbbell so you can look like you're working out when really you're just sipping down on some choco milk.


    Which is also great! The milk will make you ~dairy~ strong.

    Get it from Amazon for $16.99.

    6. A storage bench that'll be the perfect place to shove your mess whenever guests come over... actually organizing your home/life sounds like something someone with a resolution would do. No thanks.

    The Home Depot

    Get it from The Home Depot for $211.20 or get a different style from Amazon for $42.39.

    7. A piece of wall decor, because going out more doesn't even make any sense when there's already wine at your place. Nature? I don't (want to) know her.


    Get it from Amazon for $18.99.

    8. A canvas duffle for anyone who refuses to start meditating in the new year and would rather solve minor emotional problems with puns.


    Who has the patience for zen anyway??

    Get it from Femfettie for $25.

    9. A bicycle pizza cutter, because joining Soul Cycle will never feed your soul as well as pizza does. It will not.


    Yes, I'd like extra EVERYTHING on that, thank you.

    Get it from Amazon for $12.99.

    10. A graphic shirt for anyone who is ready to take on 2019... or actually, just ready to nap it off.

    Cutie Bean Clothing

    Get it from Cutie Bean Clothing on Etsy for $14.95 (available in four colors and sizes S–2XL).

    11. A travel pillow you just might want to keep at home — the thought of "traveling more" simply doesn't feel like something that would ~spice~ up your life right now.

    Forever 21

    Get it from Forever 21 for $9.90.

    12. A wall hook so you can tell your friends what you think about their resolution hype, without really telling them (blatant honesty sounds too much like a resolution to me).

    Urban Outfitters

    Get it from Urban Outfitters for $12.

    13. A bag of cereal (sort of) for anyone who knows that eating healthier is important, but eating marshmallows will make 2019 far more sweet than a box of Bran Flakes would.


    Get it from Amazon for $11.69.

    14. A tapestry you can put on your wall to mark the day you finally decide to make a New Year's resolution.

    Urban Outfitters

    Get it from Urban Outfitters for $59.

    15. A book that'll help you look like you're really great at your job... without actually having to improve in the new year.


    Get it from Amazon for $14.01.

    16. A pair of socks that'll remind you when the "beach body" ads start invading your accounts that every body is a beach body and you don't need to change a dang thing to be a wondrous beast.


    Get them from ModCloth for $9.

    17. A hangover supplement for anyone who laughs in the face of drinking less as a resolution, but wouldn't mind a few less hangovers in 2019.


    Each bottle has 90 tablets.

    Get it from Amazon for $37.99.

    18. A bath mat sure to satisfy anyone with a taste for puns and a ~sour~ attitude about the overly perky life goals people come up with each year.

    Urban Outiftters

    Get it from Urban Outfitters for $39.

    19. A five pack of natural oil perfumes for people who aren't worried about the sweet smell of success this new year, but are just thinking about their smell in general.

    Inklng Scents

    This pack has fragrances made with dried lavender, dried rose, dried mint, dried citrus, essential oils, and pine needles.

    Get it from Inkling Scents on Etsy for $110 (or try the sample pack for $12).

    20. A wall hanging you can point to when people ask you what your plans are for 2019.

    Urban Outfitters

    Get it from Urban Outfitters for $19.

    21. A scratch-off book poster that'll be the best pseudo-resolution ever, because no one will be able to monitor whether you actually read them or not.


    Sure, making it look like you are following through on a fake resolution might be a gray area for anyone who doesn't make them at all, but I wouldn't ~read~ into it too much.

    Get it from Amazon for $26.95.

    22. A mirror sticker, because losing your road rage in the new year would be like losing a part of yourself... which would make you as sad as the losers driving behind you.

    Get it from Amazon for $2.49.

    23. An adjustable laptop stand so you can lie down, eat, watch a movie, and leave your bed exactly none times every weekend in 2019.


    Get it from Amazon for $25.99 (available in two colors).

    24. A bottle opener for anti-social heroes who would rather open a bottle at home than open the door to new friendships in the new year.


    Plus this little bud is so cute it's sure to make your heart dino-soar every time you use it.

    Get it from Amazon for $34.31 or from Firebox for $31.99.

    25. A diary of disappointments, with room to finally organize and plan out all of the events and appointments you'll have this year... and the kind of "encouragement" that'll keep you from sticking with any of them.


    This rather grim appointment book has a series of disappointing twists, including weekly demotivational proverbs, reminders of notable deaths, contact pages for people who never call, a year's worth of Monday stickers, space for pointless doodles, and, unfortunately, much more.

    Get it from Amazon for $8.69.

    26. A pair of socks for anyone who has felt de-feet-ed every time they've tried to follow through on a resolution.


    Get them from Amazon for $5.99+ (available in 33 styles).

    27. A button, because a year of saying "yes" to everything sounds horrible... but pressing this occasionally sounds "okurrr."


    Get it from Firebox for $16.99.

    28. A pair of angled glasses so you can take your homebody habits to a whole new (horizontal) level, without having to actually do anything new at all.


    Get them from Amazon for $9.99.

    29. A T-shirt for anyone out there who isn't looking for love in 2019 but would be down for a nap time anytime.

    Marilyn K Creations

    Get it from Marilyn K Creations on Etsy for $20.40+ (available in sizes S–3XL).

    30. A grooming cat door with a clip-on brush, because you shouldn't ~brush off~ improving your pet's hygiene in the new year, but that doesn't mean you should have to do anything about it yourself.


    Get it from Amazon for $27.90 (available in two colors).

    31. A poster that'll accurately state your 2019 motto.

    The Weird Internet

    Get it from The Weird Internet on Etsy for $20+ (available in three sizes).

    32. A candle you can light when people ask how you plan to improve yourself in the new year. This is a great way to let them know you plan to light up a room.


    Get it from Amazon for $34.99.

    33. Or a cookie cutter set that'll show people what you think about learning how to bake in the new year.


    Mary Berry abandoned us and we aren't going to forget it!

    Get it from Amazon for $7+ (available in four sizes).

    34. A gummy sushi box for any picky eaters who would totally benefit from a year of more adventurous eating... but plans on doing no such thing, thank you very much.


    Get it from Amazon for $5.93.

    35. A metal sign, because last year you thought you'd try a resolution to improve your gardening skills and it didn't help much. This year your game plan is gonna be sliiightly different.

    81 Metal Art

    I think I just found the wall art for my future child's nursery.

    Get it from 81 Metal Art on Etsy for $26+ (available in three sizes).

    36. A wine bottle glass for anyone who thinks that "living life to the fullest" is a ridiculous thing to say, unless they're referring to wine.


    Get it from Amazon for $14.99 (available in seven styles).

    37. A mirror that'll let you be the person of the year you know you deserve to be... without doing a single thing on your end.


    Get it from Amazon for $24.11.

    38. And finally, a unicorn pool toy tea infuser to remind yourself that life is both a day at the beach and a cup of tea when you don't throw unnecessary expectations on yourself.


    Get it from ModCloth for $15.

    Solid plan for all of 2019, TBH.


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