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1. A pair of adjustable hiking poles sure to make you the most agile four-legged creature on the forest floor.
2. A water filter that'll keep you from getting dehydrated when you've finished your water bottle and the river water around you seems *gulp*...questionable.
3. A lumbar pack you can snag if wearing a backpack while hiking seems like too much of a weight on your shoulders.
4. A Garmin Instinct GPS watch — the minute this shows up at your door you're gonna know it's ~time~ to leave the house and get hiking! This magic band has a TracBack® feature, meaning it'll help you follow the exact same path back if the trail you pick isn't familiar.
5. A fast-absorbing SPF 50 that'll disappear into your skin pretty much instantly. There's zero weight, heaviness, or white cast...but there's plenty of sun protection!
6. A lightweight parachute hammock for hikers who would gladly spend all morning huffing and puffing uphill to snag a nature nap in the most peaceful spot possible.
7. A multifunctional headware (made from recycled plastic bottles!) that can protect your skin from the sun, keep you cool, and be an eco-friendly fashion statement all at the same time!
8. A river knife with a 3-inch, stainless-steel blade that's sure to be a ~cut~ above the kitchen knife you were thinking of using in a bind.
9. A lightweight Patagonia puffer that'll keep you warm and dry when you and your buds decide to skip the summer sun and enjoy some chilly night hikes instead.
10. A two-way satellite communicator – it can help you stay in constant communication with others, even during solo hikes far out of cell range. Would it be cool to have a movie made about you? Yes. Do you want that movie to be about how you got lost for days in the wilderness? I like to think not.
11. An unreasonably lovely collapsible water bottle sure to add enough extra space in your backpack for the "treasures" your kids find while you're on a family hike.
12. An LED headlamp — it's gonna a be a ~bright~ idea to bring this along, even if you aren't planning on hiking after dusk. If things take longer than you planned, you're gonna feel way safer using this than using your cell's flashlight (save that battery!).
13. A 5-liter dry sack in a cheerful pattern so you can store your gear in a waterproof pack that looks as fun as it is functional.
14. An insect repellent for hikers-at-heart who are too ~bugged~ by insects to actually enjoy the great outdoors. This has you covered!
15. A pair of insoles so you can treat your heart and your ~sole~ to a surprisingly comfortable hike whenever you need a break from the chaos.
16. A bug bite suction tool that can help remove the venom from any stings and help reduce itchiness, pain, and swollen skin.
17. A beeswax food wrap that's antibacterial, reusable, and gonna be your go-to when you wanna pack some snacks without wasting plastic. You love nature, after all.
18. A pair of moisture-wicking, blister-proof socks with year-round temperature control and a friction-preventative seamless toe to make your next big hike, well, seamless.
19. And a pair of Speedfit hiking boots that are massively durable despite their feather-light feel. You're gonna tell your old boots to take a hike the moment you get these on your feet.
20. A trend-setting pair of oversized aviators to keep the sun out of your eyes when you're desperate to go outside and get some sun.
21. A canvas backpack you can put on your pooch if you decide it's *their* turn to hold their own poop bags for once. TBH this thing has so many pockets they can carry just about anything they'd need! They'd probably suggest treats. Lots of treats.
22. A pair of period-proof panties so you can be out all day without worrying about changing your tampon. These won't feel wet and won't chafe, so you can truly enjoy a comfortable hike any time of the month!
23. A pStyle — a non-sitting urination tool that'll be so useful the next time you need to pee in the wilderness you'll wanna give it a ~standing~ ovation.
24. A small charger sure to give you peace of mind when you spend the entire day taking photos on your hike...despite the fact that you took a hike to get yourself off your phone.
25. A dog water bottle for keeping your adventure buddy happy and hydrated all day.
26. An anti-blister balm that'll help you hike up Machu Picchu without a blister in sight.
27. A pair of mid-height sneaker boots so lightweight you're gonna wonder if they're made with witchcraft. Grab these and you might actually keep up with your kids when they're running through the wilderness.
28. And finally, an antibacterial foot odor spray that'll keep your hiking boots smelling fresh so you won't have to ~sweat it~ if you bring them inside.
When I realize I accidentally bought everything in this list:
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