We hope you love our recommendations! Some may have been sent as samples, but all were independently selected by our editors. Just FYI, BuzzFeed and its publishing partners may collect a share of sales and/or other compensation from the links on this page.
1. A Michelangelo's David switch cover that'll turn them on every time they turn off the lights.
2. A cursed candle for letting your sarcastic soulmate know you think they're #1.
3. An elegant lingerie robe with some serious "I just murdered my husband" vibes that's sure to have your (true crime) lover looking stunning...if a little bit sinister.
4. A cheeky tee that's gonna delight your independent BFF who has no interest in Valentine's traditions. Instead, let them eat cake, reject relationship expectations, and get "buzzed."
5. A Batman costume for the extra special ~member~ in your marriage.
6. A rustic decorative box subtle enough to keep out at all times, reminding your special someone what a lovable pain they truly are.
7. The We-Vibe Anniversary Collection Box with a bullet that'll pack quite the punch (even though it's quiet as a mouse) and an app-controlled vibe that's gonna knock their socks off (and likely everything else).
8. A ceramic titty tumbler — a handcrafted cutie that's probably gonna be the breast gift they've ever received.
9. A pair of glowing, waterproof bike testicles so they can have a ~ball~ (and be safe!) while riding their bike at night.
10. A soft rope hog tie set for that special someone you can ~knot~ believe you are lucky enough to be in a relationship with.
11. A serial killer coloring book — a gift to prove to your beloved that your taxidermy collection isn't the "creepiest thing in the apartment."
12. A coffee mug for any foul-mouthed fiend who wants a sprinkle of swears with their spoonful of sugar.
13. A foul-smelling fragrance to finally get back at the prank master you're married to. They're sure to appreciate the effort, despite how much this gift actually stinks.
14. An adult coloring book they'd have to be a ~dick~ to not love coloring in.
15. An inappropriate pillow — a gift that'll be a skele-ton of fun to add to your bedding.
16. Or a sweatshirt your morbid S.O. can wear if they have rather deadpan humor.
17. A massage oil candle for showing your burning love with a mighty fine spa night.
18. An oven mitt to tell the SNACK you're in love with why you think everything they make tastes so darn delicious.
19. A Jason Momoa coloring book with some truly *colorful* content. Fair warning: this coloring book is sure to be a hit, but it's also been known to make artists Momoan every time they open it.
20. An FU cookie cutter so you can whip up an entire batch of kick-ass sugar cookies, even though your DEAREST says you are useless in the kitchen. I! Think! Not!
22. An itty bitty penis planter — present them with this gift and they'll know they got the whole ~package~ when they decided to date you.
23. Would You Rather...? and Truth Or Dare? — books filled with fun questions, prompts, and dares that are gonna have you both blushing before bursting...with satisfaction.
24. A Bella Auset candle for the partner who is ALWAYS all of these things. At the same time.
25. A cheeky chicken cookbook that's gonna teach you and the kinky kindred spirit you love several ways to ~flip the bird~ and baste it to the best of your abilities.
27. An ASL coffee mug to give the night owl you live with, so they no longer have to actually SAY IT when you start getting chatty before their morning coffee.
28. A couple print in a distinctively minimalist style that'll pack a particularly precious punch, despite being so sexy!
29. A We-Vibe Touch, a mini (and waterproof) clitoral vibe with *EIGHT* different modes. This is gonna be easy to use discretely, if your roommates have told the two of you to stop being so...loudly in love.
30. Images You Should Not Masturbate To, a coffee table book you can tell them you got special, because sometimes it's nice to just have the reminder.
31. A clitoral vibrator for stimulating their best bits with blissful, touch-free sensations. Bonus: it's designed in such a way that their body should never get too used to it, meaning they're gonna be surprised by this pleasure time and time again.
32. And finally, a classical portrait of a maiden's face for bringing some fiiiiine art into your shared home.
When you present your package:
