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    Ignore Your Brain, Because Your Heart Wants These 51 Products

    Get *yourself* a gift before worrying about everyone else this holiday season.

    1. A naturally dried bouquet featuring autumnal colors that'll be a welcome part of your decor until the day Santa comes knockin' at your door (or creeping down your chimney, whatever that guy does).

    palm leaf bouquet with an assortment of pampas grass stems

    2. A tarot candle trio for mystical souls who know keeping an eye on the past, present, and future is a ~bright~ idea.

    3. A classic oversized cardigan you may quickly realize is a need, despite your wardrobe's overflowing "Fall/Winter" storage box. Plus this is olive green, it's totally different than all the mustard and maroon sweaters you've currently got stuffed in there!

    Model wearing chunky cardigan. it has no buttons, includes front pockets, and sleeves that are fitted at the wrist.

    4. A Chicken Daddies calendar for farm-lovin' folks who aren't too ~chicken~ to show off some laugh-out-loud funny decor.

    5. An Ollie Ella mushroom basket you could give to a kid, sure...OR you can give it to YOURSELF and add it to your forest floor decor. Say that five times fast.

    wicker basket in the shape of a mushroom, with a hinged front door and windows on the front

    6. B is for Boo: A Halloween Alphabet, a charming and not-so-scary board book sure to add some silliness to spooky season.

    7. A sassy welcome mat that'll satisfy anyone with a not-so-social soul.

    Welcome mat that says "Welcome Just kidding. Please, go home."

    8. An iridescent and ceramic vase that pair together perfectly, if I do say so myself. Grab this and you're instantly gonna give your side table something to brag about!

    9. A Dolly Parton advent calendar sure to have you singing, "And IIIIII will always love...Dolly Parton Christmas decor."

    advent calendar with dolly on the front

    10. A garden snake and cobra tea light holder, each handmade out of cement — you can go ahead and slither this into your shopping cart. I won't tell.

    11. A mid-century modern Novogratz pet sofa that's gonna look doggone adorable in your living room!

    Dog sitting on mini mid-century modern mustard colored plush sofa

    12. A 15-piece makeup brush set that'll help you kiss and ~makeup~ with the beauty routine you've neglected over the last several months.

    13. A pack of 15 Shakespearean-insult adhesive bandages sure to satisfy people who aren't afraid to add insult to injury.

    tin bandage container with examples of the jokes on the front

    14. An adjustable stick figure floor lamp you can add to your furniture family when you leave your roommates and realize it's still kinda nice to have another body around (as long as that body isn't eating your leftover Stromboli).

    15. Weird Parenting Wins, a funny and heartwarmingly honest book that's sure to give you some surprising parenting hacks. Whether you're trying to get your kids to tell you the truth, wanting to figure out how to end tantrums before they start, or discovering "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Act Like a Person," there's sure to be a silly solution in here for you!

    Weird Parenting Wins

    16. A hanging macrame cat bed, because your kitto deserves some bold boho furniture just as much as the next Instagram influencer.

    17. A pizza pocket lanyard so you can enjoy wearing an accessory that you can really sink your teeth into.

    Reviewer with pizza in lanyard

    18. A pack of 24 retro Halloween postcards that'll give you an excuse to send your loved ones some snail mail. OR be like me and keep them all to yourself! They easily double as decor. Sorry, loved ones.

    19. A tiny Jibbitz accessory to put on your Crocs to let everyone know (in the most meta way) just how much you love your Crocs.

    A white pair of Crocs with a white Crocs jewel inside one of the holes

    20. A Build Your Own Cheese Box that's gonna give you a chance to snack on some delicious, fancy cheese you may have otherwise turned your nose at before. Stinky cheese is my one true love.

    21. And a Death Star cheeseboard for fans who don't mind how cheesy their love of Star Wars (and sharp cheddar) really is.

    two-piece round wooden cheeseboard with print of the death star on one and an indented storage with four cheese cutting tools on the other

    22. A sage variety pack with eucalyptus, white and purple flowers, rose petals, Yerba Santa, Palo Santo, rosemary *breath* and sage. If your Halloween plans involve horror movies and Ouija boards...these protective plants just might be a good idea.

    23. A personalized candle you can keep out in the living room to not-so-subtly let your partner know they are, on occasion, rather pungent.

    Candle that says "Light when Michael farts"

    24. A pack of five cloud or dress tea bags to treat yourself to when a calm night with a book and a cup of tea sounds particularly perfect. Honestly, I've always felt this way. I was born 42. And proud of it.

    25. A deck of black foil playing cards for folks who would love a deck of cards as dark as their sense of humor.

    reviewer holding the deck of cards

    26. A meat pie and scone variety pack from a Scottish, family-owned bakery. With these, you can at least have the same meals as Claire Randall while watching Outlander and wishing you could have the same man too. Hey Jamie, I see you.

    27. A guinea pig fire truck costume for anyone who is as THRILLED as I am that a guinea pig firetruck costume exists. Pro tip: It may help to already own a guinea pig.

    pet guinea pig wearing a firefighter hat and a firetruck cover