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1. An Instant Pot you needed in your kitchen, like, yesterday, because this contraption can basically replace half your appliances.
2. A peel-off mask made from charcoal that'll help unclog your pores and remove sebum so you don't have to be se-bummed about blackheads and buildup anymore.
3. A pack of four Magic Erasers sure to finally scrub away the dirt and grime that's been giving you a hard time.
4. An Echo Spot that'll display the weather, set alarms/timers, play music, turn on/off your lights, check your security cameras, change the temperature of the house, tell bedtime stories, and listen to you better than anyone else you might be living with.
5. A box of 12 Soylent bottles, because you know you've gotta eat, but you'd prefer to be a super efficient snacker sometimes.
6. A pack of pimple patches you need for when you are so sick of your whiteheads you think you might pop.
7. A wrist rest you better ba-guette quickly so you can keep your wrist comfortable while you work on making some real dough.
8. A copy of Becoming that'll make you go "Obamaaaaw" over all the funny and fun stories Michelle shares — your bookshelf deserves this much joy.
9. A clever storage cube so you can fit up to 96 pens, pencils, markers, brushes, or whatever tiny tools you currently have lying around.
10. A set of measuring spoons that'll be the cherry on top of your kitchen tools, literally.
11. A seat filler because you need something that's sure to save your french fries from certain doom.
12. A set of matryoshka measuring cups for any doll who loves baking with the best tools in town.
13. A bottle of poop spray sure to save your bathroom from, well, yourself.
14. A pack of 200 earring backs that'll always have your back, ya hear?
15. An elevated stainless steel baking and cooling rack for anyone who wants to take their cooking skills to the next level.
16. A reusable silicone food bag with an air-tight seal you can use to replace all the plastic bags in your place — store leftovers, heat up food in the microwave, or simply to store your snacks in.
17. A WiFi enabled smart plug that'll let you control your lights and appliances with your phone or your voice. Why get this? Because this thing is a seriously ~bright~ idea.
18. A pack of eight reusable straws, because wasting plastic on disposable straws really ~sucks~.
19. A pair of computer glasses with a lens that'll keep your eyes from aching when you're staring at screens all day. If you work at a desk, it's time to put on a pair of these pretties.
20. A cast iron skillet to make it look like you have a ton of skill(et)s in the kitchen. And make your food taste *chef's kiss* delicious.
21. A makeup brush cleaner you're gonna be glad to get — especially when you realize just how dirty the brush you've been rubbing all over your face is.
22. A toilet paper holder that's sure to delight anyone who isn't ~sheepish~ about sporting some adorable, and useful, bathroom storage.
23. A bag of organic Death Wish coffee for anyone who truly believes in the phrase "death before decaf".
24. A hideaway plunger that'll help you hide the grossest part of necessary bathroom tools and pretend it doesn't exist, until you really need it.
25. A cordless Dyson because anyone with floors is gonna be floored by how well this vacuum works.
26. An Oculus Go that might just be the most fun thing you throw on your face. Plus, it'll really help you and your family ~get your head in the game~ on family nights.
27. An electric kettle for anyone who has just been microwaving their water in the past.
28. A robot vacuum that'll let you put your feet up while something else gets the cleaning done.
29. A foot cream that's sure to save your skin when dryness, smelliness, or sweatiness has you feeling de-feet-ed.
30. A KitchenAid mixer to turn your kitchen into the grown-up chef's space you know you deserve after finishing Salt Fat Acid Heat (i.e. your uncertified, but complete, cooking education).
31. A darling reusable grocery bag for anyone who knows that having less plastic in life will ~produce~ some seriously satisfying results in the future.
32. A knife sharpener so you, and your cutlery, can be the sharpest knife in the drawer.
33. A fabric defuzzer sure to take years off of a sweater's life. Which is a big deal, because messy sweaters can be a real ~pill.~
34. A dinosaur taco holder, because after using this brilliant contraption eating tacos any other way is gonna seem prehistoric.
35. A relaxing and efficient scalp massager that'll be a massive upgrade from your typical shower for your scalp, hair, and mental health.
36. A box of plant food to make gardening so much easier, the thought of working outside will really ~grow~ on you.
37. A book full of foods to eat before you die that's so good, everyone should eat this right up.
38. A Tubshroom that's gonna get you (and your drain) out of some seriously nasty, hairy situations.
39. A six-piece storage set sure to save your sugar from being anything less than totally sweet.
40. A mildew resistant shower curtain liner so you can clean your body in a place that's actually clean.
41. A homesick candle for anyone who lives away from home and who knows the smell of it could be a breath of fresh air.
42. And finally, an overflow cap so you can have a bath filled to the brim — a worthy reward after filling your home with such useful stuff.
When your mom sees you using these products.
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