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Would You Rather: New York City Edition

"Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up." —Liz Lemon

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    Get kicked in the head by a subway busker?
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    Or have a pigeon fly into your face?
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    Have to walk behind a confused tourist family forever?
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    Or have to talk to every person with a clipboard on the sidewalk?
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    Have an infestation of bedbugs?
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    Or rats?
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    Get weekly free tickets to Hamilton, An American Musical?
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    Or have a rent-controlled apartment?
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    Puke on on the train?
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    Or fall into a garbage pile in the middle of the summer?
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    Never be able to leave Times Square?
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    Or sleep in a well-used knockoff Elmo costume?
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    Have a train pull into the subway station any time you want?
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    Or always be able to find a cab immediately?
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    Get Marilyn Monroe-d ~every~ time you passed over a subway grate?
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    Or only have an umbrella that's forever blown inside out?
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    Step into a mystery puddle any time you wear sandals?
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    Or lick a subway pole once a week?
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    Get AC water dripped on your head every time you step outside?
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    Or have to go to every comedy show a street rando invites you to?
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    Face off against a rat king when walking home at night?
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    Or drop your phone on the subway tracks?
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    Have people think you smell like hot garbage?
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    Or only be able to smell hot garbage?
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    Get stuck on the subway underground for hours?
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    Or go for a swim in the Hudson?
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    Have your bodega magically stock all your last-minute ingredients?
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    Or have laundry in your building?
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    Call Time Warner?
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    Or drink a whole vat of hot dog water?
  1. But really, would you rather...

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    Live in New York?
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    Or anywhere else in the world?
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