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Beards: A Chronological Hairstory

Because man buns don't deserve all our attention.

Look, beards!

Getty Images
Getty Images
Getty Images

15th Century BC—Queen Hatshepsut

This kick-ass queen of Ancient Egypt was depicted with a false beard.
Khaled Desouki / AFP / Getty Images

This kick-ass queen of Ancient Egypt was depicted with a false beard.

5th Century BC—Pheidas

In Ancient Greece, cutting off another man's beard was a punishable crime. As it should be.
Hulton Archive / Getty Images

In Ancient Greece, cutting off another man's beard was a punishable crime. As it should be.

10th Century AD—Otto the Great

Holy Roman Emperor Otto the Great swore by his beard when he was being for real serious.
Getty Images Archive Photos

Holy Roman Emperor Otto the Great swore by his beard when he was being for real serious.

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12th-13th Century—Genghis Khan

Most descriptions of Genghis Khan include a long, bushy beard.
Getty Images / Hulton Archive

Most descriptions of Genghis Khan include a long, bushy beard.

16th Century—John Knox

The Scottish clergyman and leader of the protestant reformation in Scotland also reformed awesome chin hair.
Getty Images FPG

The Scottish clergyman and leader of the protestant reformation in Scotland also reformed awesome chin hair.

Early 18th Century—Blackbeard

Dude twined lit fuses in his hair to look more fearsome. He didn't need to.
Hulton Archive / Getty Images

Dude twined lit fuses in his hair to look more fearsome. He didn't need to.

Early 19th Century—James "Grizzly" Adams

In addition to having glorious facial hair, Adams named his bear Benjamin Franklin. Your argument is invalid.
Hutching's Illustrated California Magazine

In addition to having glorious facial hair, Adams named his bear Benjamin Franklin. Your argument is invalid.

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1856—Uncle Sam

Though Uncle Sam was "born" in 1813, he didn't have his iconic beard until 1856.
loc.gov

Though Uncle Sam was "born" in 1813, he didn't have his iconic beard until 1856.

1860—Abraham Lincoln

An 11-year-old girl wrote Lincoln a letter suggesting that he grow a beard for the presidential election. Days after the election, he did, and he became the first fully bearded president.
Alexander Gardner / Getty Images

An 11-year-old girl wrote Lincoln a letter suggesting that he grow a beard for the presidential election. Days after the election, he did, and he became the first fully bearded president.

Charles Darwin

Darwin theorized that beards were a result of sexual selection, since women would find men with beards more attractive. Of course he did.
Spencer Arnold / Getty Images

Darwin theorized that beards were a result of sexual selection, since women would find men with beards more attractive. Of course he did.

Leo Tolstoy

Rischgitz / Getty Images
Stringer / Getty Images

Because you need to stay warm in the cold Russian winters and look good.

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1943—Yosemite Sam

Warner Bros. Animation / Via cartoograma.tumblr.com

Although Yosemite Sam wore many hats (prospector, Viking, prison guard, pirate), you could always count on his forked red beard.

1955—Wooly Willy

It's the perfect training tool to encourage young 'uns into the way of the beard.
Flickr: genevieve719 / Creative Commons

It's the perfect training tool to encourage young 'uns into the way of the beard.

1957—Ernest Hemingway

Hemingway's iconic face hair has even inspired an annual look-alike contest.
Yousuf Karsh / Via metmuseum.org

Hemingway's iconic face hair has even inspired an annual look-alike contest.

Late 1970s—Dusty Hill and Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top

"Cause every girl's crazy 'bout a bearded man."
Mark Metcalfe / Getty Images

"Cause every girl's crazy 'bout a bearded man."

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1986—Brian Blessed as King Yrcanos in Doctor Who

bbc.co.uk / Via truestoriesaboutme.tumblr.com

Pretty much Brian Blessed in anything.

2000—Tom Hanks as Chuck Noland in Cast Away

20th Century Fox / Via d-white211.tumblr.com

Losing Wilson is just about as sad as Chuck shaving his beard by the end of the movie.

2009—Zach Galifianakis as Alan Garner in The Hangover

Warner Bros. / Via humorfever.tumblr.com

Shake it out, Zach, like the one-man wolf pack you are.

October 2011—Henry Cavill

Some Superman fans complained about a bearded Man of Steel. Others did not. For obvious reasons.
http://JKING/Flynetpictures.com

Some Superman fans complained about a bearded Man of Steel.

Others did not. For obvious reasons.

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March 2013—Tormund Giantsbade from Game of Thrones

Bonus points for ginger offset by snow.

May 2013—John Krasinski

It's Jim Halpert.... with scruff!
Larry Busacca / Getty Images

It's Jim Halpert.... with scruff!

November 2013—Zayn Malik

So young, but so bearded.
Kevin Winter / Getty Images

So young, but so bearded.

March 2014—Michael Fassbender

You can only be this happy when you have a beard.
Jason Merritt / Getty Images

You can only be this happy when you have a beard.

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June 2014—Joe Manganiello

Side effects of seeing salt and pepper facial hair may include thirst.
Jason Kempin / Getty Images

Side effects of seeing salt and pepper facial hair may include thirst.

August 2014—Jon Hamm

Fun fact: Jon Hamm has to shave three times a day when filming Mad Men. No wonder he always looks so angsty in that show.
FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

Fun fact: Jon Hamm has to shave three times a day when filming Mad Men. No wonder he always looks so angsty in that show.

September 2014—Tom Hardy

Bearded AND HOLDING A DOG.
Theo Wargo / Getty Images

Bearded AND HOLDING A DOG.

September 2014—Idris Elba

Just yes.
Taylor Hill / Getty Images

Just yes.

October 2014—Ryan Reynolds

Preparing for fatherhood, therefore beard.
Patriot Pics/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

Preparing for fatherhood, therefore beard.

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