It’s been a while since I found an effective way to express my thoughts and release heavy emotional burdens (other than coping with my friend MJ ). It’s not a good day. I’ve only been awake for 2.5 hrs and I’m finding it to be extremely difficult to keep my face cool. Ever seen someone use a machete to cut through the fierceness of the jungle? Imagine the force needed to break through; the energy exerted by the wielder; the pain of the severed organisms. That’s how my heart feels.
Someone took a sandwich out of my fridge.
It’s becoming a physical burden to experience a darkness like this. [Black girls] get depressed too.
I don’t want to regress, but, I HATE all you food stealing pieces of shit ass people.
I guess I should be satisfied that at least I’m not experiencing [those] thoughts again. The universe is teasing me lol.
As a [self-proclaimed] philosopher, I tend to make my own concept of how life works.
For example, “the reality of living is understanding that your acts and/or decisions have an effect on other living entities”.
That was a famous quote (by me).
If you come to terms with understanding that concept, your imagination can be spot on.
No, I’m not referring to SpongeBob’s version of “I-magin-aaation”. I’m referring to the kind that people are always talking about. “Yea, I [insert common task here] too. I can only imagine what that’s like”. That one.
The sociological one.
Most of the time those kind of people are lying, or just use the term loosely. I mean, after all, no one person is the same. Can’t be a white man trying to understand black girl problems. It’s just not possible it seems. Shit, this day and age, it’s hard for other black girls to understand black girl problems lol.
But the simple fact that you tried to and acted based on acknowledging the different reality…that’s gold.
3. THE GLORY IS IN YOU
Read that again.
One more time.
If you can believe that, even through your darkest hour, then that’s a
“Major key” [DJ Khaled voice]. No bull.
This goes out to all my beautiful ladies with the potential to be queens,
To all my strong men aspiring to be kings
Break your chains
Maintain your forever growing mane
Because they say history can never change
But they've erased our history, what is Black, apparently a Mystery
We are not an ordinary people
We were stolen from our golden throne
Now they treat us like dogs and try to feed us dirty bones
My brothers and sisters, there is a mirror before you, a glass ceiling hanging above you waiting to be cracked by the delicate hands that remain Black.
4. THE ANT AND THE HUMAN
When people ask why I always look mad or depressed, I don’t think they’re ever ready for the answer (or care until I actually tell them).
“I don’t blame you for much for wanting to be free and explore. I just wanted you to know...
That during your escapades for freedom searching, you stole and violated me.
You thirsted for your freedom so much that it became distorted and your very comrade, who was searching for the same thing, quickly became your enemy once she said no, once she said stop. Your vision was distorted into a sick fantasy and her horrible nightmare. you threw a tantrum in the worse kind of way.
A spoiled little boy who would have his way at all costs, and would ironically be saved and protected from the repercussions because most daddy’s made the same mistakes, and taught the same lessons.
So what do you do when your classmate punches your or pulls your ponytail? Tell the teacher. The teacher shrugs it off. You don’t get attention until complaint No. 3. Go to the principal’s office and close the door, just to hear, “oh he likes you. Now back to our regularly scheduled program. Shake hands and make up.”
I’m forced to tell all my classmates I love em, even the one who stole my sense of self you dirty motherfucker.”
6. DEAR FATHER
As a reminder, it was YOUR perception that led the way to how this conversation has turned out. I will take the time to clarify. It was not an issue of equality. We are not equals. I take care and address my responsibilities and accept my wrong doings.
Secondly, I respect those who have given me the same initially. Perhaps we can reflect on YOUR missing greeting instead. If you had called back like you said, you would've heard my appropriate greeting. Your continuous failure to follow through in coming to see me, meeting me, or calling me back has once again brought about these issues and misunderstandings. What I am being, is sensible.
Remind yourself that I have had 2 decades to form my opinion of you. I am free to communicate with my sister about any subject because they are my sisters.
The disrespect you have directed towards you is obviously coming from various parties, not just me. As a father who has not been a dad to me all these years, if you choose for me to not communicate with you, then that's on you. I’m still going to be great.
I’ve got my MOM to thank for that.
7. DON'T TOUCH
I repeat. Do NOT. Touch. My HAIR. I do not know where your crummy fingers have been. That’s how you spread negative energy. Half of y’all are hating on my hair. Some of you are fascinated because how did this black girl grow long hair. Are those extensions?
When everyone loves your new look, your new weave, your straight-haired weave. The compliments about how my “hair looks so nice”/ “you should keep it” would surround me like flies feasting on shit.
They were compliments. They were compliments, so why I do feel so bad when I hear them? Could it be the fact that I would never hear those compliments when my natural hair was showed, done up, or [overly] moisturized to show ‘the shine’?
Install a straight[er] haired weave.
Everyone can’t seem to shut up about how great, gorgeous, sexy you look.
Bantu Knot, Twist out, or hair puff (updo)
Not a peep.
“The country wants to eat you. I don’t want them to eat me. But they want to eat you. Why? Because you are a threat to everything that’s them.”
8. AT THIS MOMENT
“I love shitting. Feels like I'm losing weight. Don’t forget to shit your shit daily lol ”
Donald J. Trump is Pres. of the United States [for now].
If rapists were getting off before...?? Would I be surprised if Rape became legal? No. It was already a silent norm for our “amazing” society. Well,
I AM NOT STANDING FOR THAT SHIT. AT. ALL.
I will learn, teach, and prepare EACH AND ANY FEMALE TO DEFEND AGAINST YOU FILTHY PIGS.
WE WILL OBLITERATE YOU.
And another thing…
PADS and TAMPONS aka Sanitary Items should be FREE and ACCESSIBLE.
I'm going to bleed all over your shit. And so will other women. We will walk all over your country chanting
“ I will bleed all over your shit! ”
Automatic. FREE. REQUIRED. BORN/CREATED/INVENTED. WITHIN THE BLUEPRINT. And we [women] we have full control over its manufacturing. Why? To keep our vajayjays safe from all those chemicals that you’ve installed in the product.
Maybe [hopefully] we’ll find a natural way to deal with periods.
Yes, I said it!! PERIOD, PERIOD ALL OVER YOUR SHIT!!
Imagine a society where women just bled everyfuckingwhere 🙃
…And we demand extending maternal leave, creating paid sick days for our monthly, and whatever else we think of.
“Love is a well-balanced union between feeling and desire.”
-Birth Control, Moesha (Sitcom)
Where do we go?
Moesha’s intro on explaining love within lovers is everything. Is that how you felt when you loved your first love?
Just wanting someone to run after you when you're mad.
When they hold you in their arms the first time you give yourself to them.
The first time you fall in love.
This feeling is everything. That feeling was everything.
When you question how many people they’ve been with before you.
When you tell them. When they tell you.
A misunderstanding, now someone is a ‘Hoe’.
Where do we go? Where did you go?
I’m sorry. I love you. I loved you. I love her.
But do you love yourself?
10. ODE TO SELF CARE
At this point in life, aim to please yourself. Aim to do what you love. Life is happening. You are doing an extreme disservice to yourself if you’re not living how you want. Find your craft and if you don’t have one, this is the best time to find one. Try everything you want. Decide what you do and don’t like. Your soul strives to be great. Let it be great.
For the ones who feel lost or empty:
It only sucks right now. That’s okay. Find yourself by finding your craft. Work so hard on you, invest in yourself.
Your hard work will ensure that it ONLY sucks for right now, but not in the future that you are working towards.
11. COMPLIMENTS FROM A BLACK GIRL
“Don’t Wish Me Well”.
Do well. Do better than what you did yesterday.
You only owe it to yourself to be the greatest version of you. We are triple threats in a world of 1 talent wonders…
I love our hair. I love our skin. I love us because I love me.
Don’t forget to shine harder than the sun.