1. Before moving to London, you'll have done plenty of research:
2. But in doing so, you may have found out some things that aren't great.
3. And it's safe to say that when you finally arrive, you're not exactly expecting a welcoming committee.
4. Then there's people back home who like to scare you with all the horrible things they think they know about London.
5. No wonder you feel a bit all over the place in your first week. 😖
6. Whether you're job hunting, flat hunting or trying to survive that night bus journey home, London will make you feel the most tired you've ever been.
7. On top of that, the city is a very confusing place.
8. The tube map feels like someone vomited out a bunch of gummy worms and tied them together.
9. And of course if you spend ANY time looking at the tube map at the station, Londoners get extremely sassy.
OK, I'm sorry, maybe I'm like 5% in your way, JUST CHILL OUT.
10. And this whole thing about British people being polite well, NOT IN LONDON.
11. People trample you, clip their toenails in the middle of the train carriage, and dig their armpits into your face.
12. And maybe, because you're lost and new and just figuring things out, you stand on the left hand side of the escalator...
13. Tube etiquette in general is beyond stressful.
14. And how are you supposed to know that you don't HAVE to press the tube door buttons, but if you don't press the overground door buttons people act like you're brain dead.
15. In your first week you will definitely lose that wretched Oyster card.
16. And perhaps, on a particularly bad day, you'll try to pay for your sandwich with it.
17. All this tube drama can make your commute seem like the biggest mission of your life.
18. Busses aren't great either; maneuvering yourself to a seat is quite the workout.
19. But even after just a few days of traveling around London, you come up with your own transport hacks.
You'll start to figure out the least stressful times to travel and when to stand on the platform for optimum efficiency.