Skip To Content
  • lol badge

31 Jokes About Dating That Will Make You Laugh Then Cry

We ride at midnight, bring potato.

1. This is how you get people to date you.

2. In fact most of your flirting techniques are carb-related.

3. Sex appeal doesn't come easy to you.

4. You're far too picky for your own good.

5. And you're clearly still pining over some of your former flames.

6. You like to lead the date with your sense of humour, but not everyone gets it.

7. Your parents – for some reason – have far more confidence in your dating abilities than you do.

8. When you are into someone, you're known to move a little too fast.

9. You're utterly shit at the online thing. Alluring usernames are not for you.

10. Listing your greatest attributes on your profile isn't an easy task.

11. Besides, dating apps always glitch at the wrong time.

12. You can never quite make your mind up about cute names for your date.

13. You're not great at first impressions.

14. You get carried away about your romance before the second date has even been planned.

15. Chat-up lines are a real danger zone for you.

16. You fill awkward silences with odd facts.

17. Sexting isn't your strong suit either.

18. Your response to being flirted with needs some serious work.

19. You like to imagine you're more suave than you actually are.

20. When you're tallying up all your best assets, you sometimes struggle to come up with enticing ones.

21. You value naps over sex any day.

22. All dates should end by 8pm (at the latest!).

23. If someone doesn't ship the same people as you, you're out.

24. Small talk is your enemy.

25. You don't mind a snuggle, but you do mind sharing food.

26. Your serenades haven't quite swept anyone off their feet.

27. Dogs are better than humans in your book.

28. You are the worst at reading signs.

29. You don't have time for unnecessarily sexy messages.

30. Talking dirty means something a bit different to you.

31. You spend way too much time analysing text messages.