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17 Things You'll Only Understand If You Were A Tree In Your School Play

This is for anyone who didn't get the leading role.

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Flo Perry / Via BuzzFeed

1. If you're a drama geek in school, you'll audition for the school play every year.

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In preparation, you spend all your time after school in your bedroom belting out "A Whole New World" until your siblings barge in and yell "You suck!"

2. Always the optimist, you hope that maybe this will be your year, and you'll finally see your name on top of that cast list.

You think to yourself: "For ONCE can the main part not go to Kimberly, the popular girl with the Britney Spears voice? She's already got a million friends and she's really good at maths. She doesn't NEED this."

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3. You hurry to the drama corridor once the cast list has been put up. You're there before anyone else because you may have sort of been stalking your teacher the entire day.

You scan the names of all the principal parts.

Bummer, you're not on there.

What about the secondary parts?

Nope, your name isn't listed.

Okay, no big deal, how about the chorus?

No.

And then, there you have it.

You see your name.

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Disney

4.

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5. You plummet headfirst into the first stage of dealing with finding out you're a tree: utter despair.

6. Then you go home and drive your family crazy because you can't stop talking about how UNFAIR it all is.

Even the dog gets sick of you complaining.
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Even the dog gets sick of you complaining.

7. And then you hit stage three, where you decide: "Fuck this, I’m going to be the best tree there ever was."

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*ACTIVATE TREE MODE*

8. Being a tree isn’t easy: You need great upper body strength to hold out your arms for hours on end.

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9. So you start working out to get in top tree shape.

10. You also need to learn how to take your mind to a happy place, so you don’t get bored when you're standing still on stage for ages.

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While still conveying a perfect tree face of course, and not slouching or shifting your feet. Trees don't do that.

11. You need to develop great hearing if your costume covers your ears, in case you miss your cue.

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12. Of course, you also need to deal with envy. Especially if the other trees have slightly more important roles than you.

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"No fair, Tree #2 gets to sway. Why can't I sway?"

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13. While all the principal characters are rehearsing and singing and dancing, you just kind of have to stare at them having a fun time.

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14. But there are little tricks you can do to make your tree part the best tree part there is.

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When I fulfilled my part of Tree #3 during our school's performance of The Wizard of Oz , I was really bummed with the lack of movement, so I came up with a tree dance. It was subtle, you’d probably miss it in the audience, but it passed the time on stage. After every 30 seconds I’d sway my arms gently and move my hips, just to make it seem like there was a light breeze on stage. Genius, right?

I did this on the opening night and our director told me to cut it out in the interval: "Why are you trying to be a sexy tree? Trees aren't sexy."

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15. But as a tree you learn that no matter what, you have to hold your head high.

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Mainly because you literally have to hold your head high – you're a tree.

16. Plus, as Stanislavski once said:

17. So remember, trees, be the best tree you can be.

Flo Perry / Via BuzzFeed