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    27 Things You Can Only Understand If You're Zero Percent Sassy

    "My side-eye looks more like an eye twitch."

    1. When you have no sass, you get very excited by your sassier friends.

    2. You surround yourself by sasspots, hoping their attitude might rub off on you.

    3. But no matter how hard you try, it's impossible to keep up with their fierceness.

    4. You may have even bought books like this to help you with your plight.

    5. But to no avail, sassy pants just don't fit you.

    6. This is what happens when you try and conduct a sassy walk off from an undesirable situation.

    7. You can only ever raise your eyebrow by raising your entire eye and blink ferociously.

    8. Or you have to manually mold your face into a side-eye.

    9. Which ultimately leads to this reaction from people...

    10. You find it quite difficult to let people know you don't give a shit about something, even if it means coming up with a faux enthusiastic reaction.

    11. You haven't quite mastered the art of the insult either.

    12. Your default expression is pretty cheerful. Even when you feel like "HULK WOMAN", you end up looking like "nice and calm woman".

    13. This would be the most appropriate cake for you.

    14. You don't have thick skin. Once you saw a leaf getting blown into the gutter and it made you cry.

    15. When people are mean to you on the internet you laugh it off at first...

    My absolute favourite mean tweet. #MeanTweets

    But then you go home and weep into your pillow and ask your more sassy friend to tweet something back to the culprit.

    16. Whenever you come up with a bitchin' comeback to someone's insult it's usually about 300 hours later.

    17. Posing for photos isn't a natural thing for you. While your fabulous friends strike a pose like this with ease...

    18. You scrunch your face together and look more stoned than someone with a kickass attitude.

    19. Sassy people seem to be able to utilise every limb as a vehicle for their sass.

    20. Whereas your body is more akin to a happy, boppy potato.

    21. Sassy people are good at sending texts with one word or just a super cutting "K", whereas you text people long essays describing every facet of your thought process.

    22. When it comes to giving someone a cheeky compliment, you struggle in that department as well.

    23. And a sarky, wry smile ends up looking like your upper lip is stuck to your gum.

    24. If someone cuts in line in a queue you're in you'd love to tell them to piss off, but instead you end up apologising.

    25. Authority gives you the creeps too. When you have to tell someone what to do at work you spend 3 hours worrying about it beforehand.

    26. Your sassy hair flicks always end up in a disaster, either you gouge someone's eye out or worse, you end up falling in a pool.

    27. In general your least favourite thing is drawing attention to yourself, you mainly wish you could walk around like this.

    But don't worry, sassiness comes with time, and besides we can't ~all~ be like this kid...