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22 Things No One Tells You About Life After A Break-Up

Everything's just a bit "meh".

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...and more like this.

Getty Images/iStockphoto George Green

After the emotional shitstorm that comes with a break-up, you don't spend the whole time sobbing dramatically into a tub of ice cream. You just feel numb, a bit like this poor cow. She could kick and scream and make a fuss, but what's the point? Everything's just a bit "meh".

3. You spend a lot of time fantasising about bumping into your ex.

You start to build up several scenarios. For instance, you're walking home from the BAFTAs (of course), and you've just won like, 10 awards and they're in your hands, and you bump into your ex all casual, like, "Yeah these are my awards, no big deal," and saunter off into the moonlight.


4. You start to relate to weepy Instagrams.

5. While mourning your relationship you need a melancholic soundtrack to go with it.

Spotify, Soundcloud, 8tracks etc are FULL of people's heartbreak anthems. Even if you weren't much of a Taylor Swift fan before, you will be now. The girl knows about heartbreak.

6. In fact, music will be there every step of the way.

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For me, if things are a little shitty, first I feel like Conor Oberst is the only one who understands how miserable I am; then riot grrrl music will get me through the anger; and finally, when it's time to let go, I'll round it off with Swifty's "Shake It Off".

When you're dealing with a break-up, music is basically the red thread from the Theseus myth – it'll guide you out of the labyrinth.


9. If you’re creative, your art will flourish in this period.

So many great works of art were born out of heartbreak and loss: the Taj Mahal, Vermeer's "Girl With a Pearl Earring", and, yes, most of Taylor Swift's songs.

10. But stay away from social media – it's your worst enemy.

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Looking at your ex on social media is akin to clicking on those NSFW graphic images that creep into your news feed. You know it's going to absolutely ruin your day, but you click anyway and *BAM*, you spend all day thinking about that poor woman with nails growing out of her hair follicles.


12. And then you get to the "screw it" phase.

Time to kick yourself out of bed and just get on with life. Enough is enough.


17. Be careful not to stall it for too long.

Maggy van Eijk/BuzzFeed

If you put off dating again, there's a danger you'll get a little scared of the whole thing, thinking you're too rusty or just totally undateable. You most definitely are not!


20. If you bump into your ex, it won’t be like any of those scenarios you imagined.

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It'll just be awkward and your hair will look shit and maybe you just got rained on, but who cares? Screw it.

21. Now that you’re in a much better place they might even try to get you back.


22. And one day, when you're least expecting it, you'll wake up and realise you are totally and completely fine.


Maybe you're not 100% over them, but who cares? You survived your break-up, you made it out alive. You are awesome.