1. Wishes are important, so obviously choose yours wisely.
Translation: “Leprechauns are as green as a little shamrock and as tricky as a clever fox. If I caught one, I would put a pot of gold to lure him into the cage and trap him. Then I would wish for a blue D.S.”
2. Installing security systems after you’ve caught the perpetrator is always a good choice.
Translation: “Leprechauns are as sly as a red fox named Steve and as small as a bee named Dwinkledworf. If I caught one, I would put security lasers all over my house.”
7. “Fish make great friends.” —No one ever
Translation: “If I caught a leprechaun, I would ask him where the pot of gold is. If I got the pot of gold, I could buy a lot of stuff. I would still keep him and feed him. Then he would be friends with my dog and my fish.”
9. Aw, this little girl makes the future of America look a little brighter.
Translation: “I think you should give your gold to me because there are a lot of homeless people in Nevada. I an very, very, very nice. I am a good kid. I have the best teacher in the whole world. I live in the desert, and I am not tricking you.”
10. This kid’s use of adjectives rivals Shakespeare’s.
Translation: Leprechauns are as tiny as an ant and as green as Yoda. If I caught one, I would put it in a creative jar. Then, I would wish for an awesome hover board, a humungous lollipop, and an incredible crystal.”
11. It’s about time someone took a stand against pinching.
Translation: “If I caught a leprechaun I would take his gold and run away. I would make him show me where his gold is. I would find the rainbow and follow it. I would make him stop picking on people.”
12. These are very good arguments.
Translation: Reason 1: “Leprechaun wouldn’t have to carry around heavy gold because I would have it.” Reason 2: “I could buy games and toys like X-Box.” Reason 3: “I could pay for my family and me to go on a trip to Lego Land.”