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    Posted on Oct 2, 2017

    Doctor Comic Jagdish Chaturvedi Announces An Open Joke Challenge On Social Media To Come Up With 65 Funny Jokes – These 15 Will Leave You In Splits

    Ahead of his first international stand-up comedy performance in Dubai last month, Ear nose throat surgeon and Indian Stand-up comic Dr. Jagdish Chaturvedi, announced an open challenge -“Give me a word, I will make it a joke” on Facebook to help him exercise his comedy skills.

    L.O.L.

    After Jagdish announced the challenge on his Facebook, what followed was a downpour of challenging words to test the comedian’s creativity and skills. These included complicated words taken fresh out of the dictionary, simple words that we utilize daily, complex medical terminologies and words in local Indian languages. As Jagdish started to respond to these words, more kept flowing in until very soon, the comedian found himself responding to 65 unique words. While many are hilarious, some are deep, sarcastic and at times philosophical, most of them carry a local Indian flavor. We have handpicked 15 to share with you here.

    1. Dubai

    2. Watermelon

    3.Anastomosis (Medical meaning - a connection made surgically between adjacent blood vessels, parts of the intestine, or other channels of the body.)

    4. Rain

    5. Corruption

    6. Tenuous

    7. Peace (This one is my favorite one)

    A master peace, get it? HAHA.

    8. Sjogren’s syndrome (a long-term autoimmune disease in which the moisture-producing glands of the body are affected. Leading to excessive dryness of the eyes, mouth and skin)

    Dry state here refers to the alcohol ban in the state.

    9. Advertisement

    10. Hearing loss

    11. Love

    13. Jugaad – Local word for quick solution

    14. Chori- Hindi word for girl

    15. Allergy

    That's all folks!

    Besides being a surgeon and a stand up comic, Dr. Chaturvedi is also a serial medical device innovator and author. Follow him on Twitter @DRJagdishChatur. His stand up comedy channel on Youtube is The Magaa of Small Things.

    To read all 65 jokes, scroll here below. To comment and add more words to this list visit his Facebook status.

    All 65 jokes

    1.Shake

    What do you call an anxious and terified Arab? - A Shake

    2.Prerajutation

    Journalist to Shashi Tharoor - Sir, aapko kaisa lag raha hai

    Tharoor - Prerajutation

    Journalist - Sir, you live up to your rereputation

    3.Peace

    In an art gallery

    Admirer 1- This painting is so peaceful

    Admirer 2- Yes, it indeed is a master peace

    4.Joke

    What do you become when you unleash such a challenge? - A Joke

    Comedy Kar ke meine apni life Joke-im mein dal di hai

    5.Chaturvedi

    My Hindi teacher's name was Chaturvedi. It was literally a Sir-Name

    6.Engineering

    What is the biggest competition to stand up comedy? - Engineering

    7.Sjogren's syndrome

    Jokes on Sjogren's will only work in Gujrat

    Because its a Dry state. They will understand

    8.Zindagi keh rhi hai

    .....ki maar hi daalo gey

    9.Anatomy

    Boy- How would you define our relationship.

    Girl- it's Like an Anna-to-me

    Boy - Ok Sis. See you at Raksha Bandhan

    10.Ache

    Patient- Doctor, I am having a head ache

    Doctor- It is because of Ache Din

    11.Tenuous

    What do you call the iOS of iPhone X – Tenuous

    12.Precisely

    Teacher - Who was the most accurate karate fighter of all time

    Student - Precise Lee

    13.Donald trump?

    What is the name of Donald Trump's pet

    A. Trumpet

    14.Protest

    I love exams, I am pro-tests

    15.BJP – Bharatiya Janta Party

    Hey, I was supposed to tell a joke

    16.Camel

    What do you call a camel who thinks it is a lion – Camelion

    17.Dessert

    The most dangerous desert in the world is truly kha'thar'nak

    18.Tenacious

    Ram while fighting Ravana - You are quite TENacious

    19.Epitome

    An old man on the streets of Kolkata stopped me and asked me "Epitome kya hai"

    Amazed with the high literature, I shared the meaning of it. He looked blank, pointed at my watch and said again "Epitome kya hai?" kitna Baja hai?

    20.Presumptuous

    When you know before hand that sum thing is going to happen tuous. It's called presumptuous

    21.Habibi

    Doctor : Tabiyat kaisi hai

    Patient: Habibi waisi ki waisi

    22.Petrol

    When your car runs out of petrol, it becomes be-car!

    23.Hardware

    What did hardware tell Software - You have a long way to go buddy, this is hard work

    Software- That's Hardly true. You need to speak softly.

    24.Hearing loss

    What do you call it when an audiologist goes bankrupt? - A Hearing loss

    25.RCB- Royal Challengers Bangalore (Cricket team)

    What does RCB stand for?

    Nothing

    26.Arabic

    I had an Arabic joke but it bombed. That's why I dropped it.

    27.Psychology

    A Psycho salesman once said - Psycho lo ji

    28.Ladies purse

    When Yashoda saw the entire world in Krishna's mouth, it wasn't a miracle. He had swallowed her purse.

    29.Non sense

    A good cook is one who has a strong 6th sense - It's called non sense : the sense that determines the amount of salt one needs to put in food

    (non is salt in rural Hindi)

    30.Anastomosis

    Medical definition of Marriage - A virtual anastomosis

    31.Rain

    When rain gets delayed, it's dew

    32.Portrait

    Mein achhe traits dhoondne nikla, Por-traits mujhe mile nahin

    33.Synapse

    What do you call a gripping dream –SyNAPse

    34.Jagdish

    Jagdish is a nice, modest and down to earth person.

    35.Watermelon

    I asked for a watermelon juice and said don't add water

    He gave me melon juice

    36.Pout

    My friend is a Hairy Pouter. I don't wand to be like him

    37.Love

    Love and mistakes are not very different, they both have to be made

    38.Stethoscope

    What is the stethoscope's favourite song

    A- Chaiyan Chaiyan

    Because it has beats from Dil se

    39. Allergy

    Allergy par joke marna Acheeeeeee Baat Nahin hai

    40.Dewani

    Akbar had a special crazy fan - he called her Dewani Khas

    41.Phaechromocytoma

    Every time I hear the word Pheochromocytoma, it gives me an adrenaline rush

    42.Dubai

    Singles love Dubai, because everyone who goes there ends up getting a 'date'

    43.Transcription

    What is the main job of a Pharmacist?

    A. Transcription - The art of translating a prescription

    44.Meningioma

    Many Men have started to work in NGO's. This growing trend is called Men-iNGO- ma

    45.Chori

    Haryana ke ek gaon ki chori ne ek bada sa Mall khola.

    Log ab kehte hein ki yeh Chori ka-maal hai

    46.Life

    Life becomes a joke when jokes become life

    47.Paradise

    I was playing ludo and my dice stopped rolling. It was paradice'd

    48.Selfie

    Selfie in Hindi Ka matlab Khud ki Lena

    49.Jagdish

    Abhishek owes Jagdish 1 million dollars

    50.Nirvana

    Nirvana can be attained if you are the man who sold the world

    51.Ash

    How would the terminator say good bye to you?

    Ashta la vishta baby!

    52.Patient

    Be patient, I will share a joke soon

    53.Student

    A medical student had deep knowledge about the ear.

    He was given the award of "Student of the ear"

    54.Pun

    What do you call an infected pun

    Punsi

    55.Burkha

    I can't make a joke about this wearing a Burkha

    Because lips - stick under my Burkha

    56.PSM – Preventive and Social Medicine

    Every Indian by default practices preventive and social medicine

    They prevent medicines for social reasons

    57.Corruption

    If Hollywood decided to make a comedy movie on corruption, what would it be called?

    - Father of the bribe

    58.Advertisement

    Advertisement for the movie Inception:

    An advertiser advertising about advertising advertisors advertisements

    59.Oil

    Disclaimer - This is a medial joke

    Professor to medical students - Name a lipophilic organism

    Student - Malayali's: Because they are densely found in oil producing regions (coconut or petroleum)

    Note - Lipophillia is attraction to fat/oil

    60.Wife

    What's a joke that every wife laughs at – Husband

    61.Jugaad

    What does an innovator say when excited -

    OMJ

    Oh My juGaad

    62.Aunty

    What do you call a patriotic aunty?

    Aunty – National

    63.Peanut

    Who is a true peanut?- A peanut seller who earns in peanuts by selling peanuts

    64.Idea

    Sometimes, all you need is an idea to make network

    65.Nincompoop

    Same to you.

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