Doctor Comic Jagdish Chaturvedi Announces An Open Joke Challenge On Social Media To Come Up With 65 Funny Jokes – These 15 Will Leave You In Splits
Ahead of his first international stand-up comedy performance in Dubai last month, Ear nose throat surgeon and Indian Stand-up comic Dr. Jagdish Chaturvedi, announced an open challenge -“Give me a word, I will make it a joke” on Facebook to help him exercise his comedy skills.
After Jagdish announced the challenge on his Facebook, what followed was a downpour of challenging words to test the comedian’s creativity and skills. These included complicated words taken fresh out of the dictionary, simple words that we utilize daily, complex medical terminologies and words in local Indian languages. As Jagdish started to respond to these words, more kept flowing in until very soon, the comedian found himself responding to 65 unique words. While many are hilarious, some are deep, sarcastic and at times philosophical, most of them carry a local Indian flavor. We have handpicked 15 to share with you here.
3.Anastomosis (Medical meaning - a connection made surgically between adjacent blood vessels, parts of the intestine, or other channels of the body.)
7. Peace (This one is my favorite one)
8. Sjogren’s syndrome (a long-term autoimmune disease in which the moisture-producing glands of the body are affected. Leading to excessive dryness of the eyes, mouth and skin)
10. Hearing loss
13. Jugaad – Local word for quick solution
14. Chori- Hindi word for girl
That's all folks!
Besides being a surgeon and a stand up comic, Dr. Chaturvedi is also a serial medical device innovator and author. Follow him on Twitter @DRJagdishChatur. His stand up comedy channel on Youtube is The Magaa of Small Things.
To read all 65 jokes, scroll here below. To comment and add more words to this list visit his Facebook status.
All 65 jokes
What do you call an anxious and terified Arab? - A Shake
Journalist to Shashi Tharoor - Sir, aapko kaisa lag raha hai
Tharoor - Prerajutation
Journalist - Sir, you live up to your rereputation
In an art gallery
Admirer 1- This painting is so peaceful
Admirer 2- Yes, it indeed is a master peace
What do you become when you unleash such a challenge? - A Joke
Comedy Kar ke meine apni life Joke-im mein dal di hai
My Hindi teacher's name was Chaturvedi. It was literally a Sir-Name
What is the biggest competition to stand up comedy? - Engineering
Jokes on Sjogren's will only work in Gujrat
Because its a Dry state. They will understand
8.Zindagi keh rhi hai
.....ki maar hi daalo gey
Boy- How would you define our relationship.
Girl- it's Like an Anna-to-me
Boy - Ok Sis. See you at Raksha Bandhan
Patient- Doctor, I am having a head ache
Doctor- It is because of Ache Din
What do you call the iOS of iPhone X – Tenuous
Teacher - Who was the most accurate karate fighter of all time
Student - Precise Lee
What is the name of Donald Trump's pet
I love exams, I am pro-tests
15.BJP – Bharatiya Janta Party
Hey, I was supposed to tell a joke
What do you call a camel who thinks it is a lion – Camelion
The most dangerous desert in the world is truly kha'thar'nak
Ram while fighting Ravana - You are quite TENacious
An old man on the streets of Kolkata stopped me and asked me "Epitome kya hai"
Amazed with the high literature, I shared the meaning of it. He looked blank, pointed at my watch and said again "Epitome kya hai?" kitna Baja hai?
When you know before hand that sum thing is going to happen tuous. It's called presumptuous
Doctor : Tabiyat kaisi hai
Patient: Habibi waisi ki waisi
When your car runs out of petrol, it becomes be-car!
What did hardware tell Software - You have a long way to go buddy, this is hard work
Software- That's Hardly true. You need to speak softly.
What do you call it when an audiologist goes bankrupt? - A Hearing loss
25.RCB- Royal Challengers Bangalore (Cricket team)
What does RCB stand for?
I had an Arabic joke but it bombed. That's why I dropped it.
A Psycho salesman once said - Psycho lo ji
When Yashoda saw the entire world in Krishna's mouth, it wasn't a miracle. He had swallowed her purse.
A good cook is one who has a strong 6th sense - It's called non sense : the sense that determines the amount of salt one needs to put in food
(non is salt in rural Hindi)
Medical definition of Marriage - A virtual anastomosis
When rain gets delayed, it's dew
Mein achhe traits dhoondne nikla, Por-traits mujhe mile nahin
What do you call a gripping dream –SyNAPse
Jagdish is a nice, modest and down to earth person.
I asked for a watermelon juice and said don't add water
He gave me melon juice
My friend is a Hairy Pouter. I don't wand to be like him
Love and mistakes are not very different, they both have to be made
What is the stethoscope's favourite song
A- Chaiyan Chaiyan
Because it has beats from Dil se
Allergy par joke marna Acheeeeeee Baat Nahin hai
Akbar had a special crazy fan - he called her Dewani Khas
Every time I hear the word Pheochromocytoma, it gives me an adrenaline rush
Singles love Dubai, because everyone who goes there ends up getting a 'date'
What is the main job of a Pharmacist?
A. Transcription - The art of translating a prescription
Many Men have started to work in NGO's. This growing trend is called Men-iNGO- ma
Haryana ke ek gaon ki chori ne ek bada sa Mall khola.
Log ab kehte hein ki yeh Chori ka-maal hai
Life becomes a joke when jokes become life
I was playing ludo and my dice stopped rolling. It was paradice'd
Selfie in Hindi Ka matlab Khud ki Lena
Abhishek owes Jagdish 1 million dollars
Nirvana can be attained if you are the man who sold the world
How would the terminator say good bye to you?
Ashta la vishta baby!
Be patient, I will share a joke soon
A medical student had deep knowledge about the ear.
He was given the award of "Student of the ear"
What do you call an infected pun
I can't make a joke about this wearing a Burkha
Because lips - stick under my Burkha
56.PSM – Preventive and Social Medicine
Every Indian by default practices preventive and social medicine
They prevent medicines for social reasons
If Hollywood decided to make a comedy movie on corruption, what would it be called?
- Father of the bribe
Advertisement for the movie Inception:
An advertiser advertising about advertising advertisors advertisements
Disclaimer - This is a medial joke
Professor to medical students - Name a lipophilic organism
Student - Malayali's: Because they are densely found in oil producing regions (coconut or petroleum)
Note - Lipophillia is attraction to fat/oil
What's a joke that every wife laughs at – Husband
What does an innovator say when excited -
Oh My juGaad
What do you call a patriotic aunty?
Aunty – National
Who is a true peanut?- A peanut seller who earns in peanuts by selling peanuts
Sometimes, all you need is an idea to make network
Same to you.