24 Problems People Who Don’t Drink Will Understand

“We must be like SO annoying right now.”

1. When people say that they don’t have enough money to do something and then spend that “imaginary cash” on drinks.

2. When someone announces that they aren’t drinking for a weekend and act like they should get an award for it.

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3. When you try to soberly flirt with someone who is drunk.

4. Which only becomes more awkward when you’re on a first date and your date has to drink alone.

“I don’t drink. But you totally can. And I still have fun. And I…you hate me now, don’t you?”

5. When your friends announce your night is going to start at 1 a.m. and you have to chug coffee just to get through it.

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6. Which of course means your car will be filled with drunk people AGAIN.

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But points for being a good friend! Don’t drink and drive.

7. When you have to spend the night dealing with your friend’s existential crisis…

8. While holding a cup of water because the party never seems to have non-alcoholic options.

9. When people find out you’re sober and are kind of freaked out.

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10. And look at you like you have two heads.

11. So you feel the need to hide that you don’t drink or people will slowly back away.

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12. When people don’t just respect the situation and instead try to get you to drink something anyway.

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13. Or ask you stupid questions like, “Are you having fun?” or, “Do you wish you could be drunk?”

14. When you get stuck watching your friends be stupid as hell and just have to sit there and not judge them.

15. When everyone gets to that stage when they discuss 19,219 plans but never actually move anywhere.

16. Which is usually around the time that you realize you’re insanely hungry.

Guys, it’s just MORE hours of my day. FEED ME.

17. When you realize you have friends that won’t hang out with you when they’re sober.

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18. When you get stuck listening to everyone complain about being hungover.

You literally did this to yourself…

19. And when you wake up at a normal time on Sunday but no one is available to hang out because they’re all still asleep.

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20. Or they say they’ll go to brunch but then get so drunk that they can’t go out after.

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That’s cool. I’ll just go to the movies alone.

21. Nights like New Year’s Eve can be rough.

22. Or when people want to go do karaoke…eek.

The key is to wait until everyone is too drunk to remember and then sing your heart out!

23. When you get to a potluck and everyone just brought booze.

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24. And yes sometimes you can have a hard time getting people to do things with you that don’t involve alcohol.

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But fuck ‘em, because at least you’ll know where your wallet is tomorrow.

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