1. Cereal Rescue
“Yet another life saved by a frosted oat vowel.”
2. Linguine Car Wash
“The deluxe carbonara service had to be cancelled after too many people lost mirrors and antennas.”
3. Ham Openers
“Highly specialized teams were tasked with inspecting weaponized meat products.”
4. Salt Caramel Harvesters
“Everyone in the labor force was adjusting to changes in the Economy.”
5. Wafer Cookie Lineup
“Number three step forward please.”
6. Peppercorn Soccer
“Constant sneezing added an additional measure of challenge to the game.”
- A draft of a plan to repeal Obamacare was released that'll block federal funds from Planned Parenthood and cut healthcare benefits granted under the law.
- The widow of a Kansas immigrant who was allegedly killed by a white nationalist demanded answers from the government about stopping hate crimes in the US.
- Time to change your passwords: Uber and Fitbit are among the millions of websites that may have been compromised 🔐
- A billboard in North Carolina that claims "Real men provide. Real women appreciate it," has sparked controversy across the country 👀