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Things My Asian Parents Said When I Told Them I Was Going To Study Film

Yikes...so, against my Asian parents' wishes, I decided to major in film. Here's what they had to say.

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1) WHAT.

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The first step was shock. Complete and utter shock that one of their own would stoop so far into the humanities.

2) But WHY are you doing this?

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This is the part where my parents wanted to know why I chose film. I said something about passion. They tried to understand.

Spoiler alert: They couldn't.

3) Are you going to be able to find a job after you graduate?

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Well... sure, mom and dad. Of course! aka I have no idea, but why can't you just be happy for me?

4) There are THOUSANDS of other film students. And they all think they've got what it takes. What makes you so special?

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They did not hold back from spilling that hot Truth tea. All over my face.

5) Why can't you be like *insert name*'s daughter?

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Ah...the inevitable comparison point where they tell me so-and-so's daughter is going to med school.

...At Johns Hopkins. The best medical program in world.

6) But you're going to go to grad school, right?

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I told them, "No, not really."

And then I saw death come for me.

7) I didn't immigrate to this country for this!!!!

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Here, we see Exhibit A: Asian Parents dumping the immigrant story all over Exhibit B: The Ungrateful Child so that this child may know the true extent to which she is ungrateful.

8) You know, when you graduate, you're gonna have to pay back all those students loans. Good luck.

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Tell me something I don't know!

9) Oh, you got a film internship? Is it paid? Yeah, didn't think so.

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Sorry for being such a disappointment.

10) Quick! Change your major before it's too late!

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Biology? Political Science? ENGLISH?!?!

...Sorry, mom and dad, but the damage is done.

11) I guess it's okay if you want to be Ang Lee... But just know that Ang Lee couldn't even be Ang Lee until he was forty something! Are you going to wait until you're 40 to start having a career??

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Just when I think they've accepted my field of study......... Nope, why did I even think that was a possibility.

Thanks for the encouragement, parents. I'll be sure to write all about it...IN THERAPY.

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Look, I know you guys wanted me to be a Doctor, Lawyer, or Dentist, but it's just never going to happen.

Don't worry, just lie and tell your friends that I'm pre-law.

...At Harvard.

...And I'm number one in the class. Whatever.

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