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10 Things I Hate About You... My Boyfriend

In falling in love with someone everything about them will seem perfect, until the paint dries and you're bawling up your fists standing over a left- up toilet seat. Eventually the differences in upbringing, views and personality will become clear and the two of you will have to make compromises should you choose to continue spending time together. When the blissful happiness of your relationship spreads through social media, can you spot the cracks?

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1. The toilet seat

Via Flickr: doctorow

I found this to be a huge problem when my boyfriend came to my family home and left the toilet seat up; it seemed I hadn't noticed it too much before, but now it was on. It immediately flagged up to me as, with four women and one man in my home, it wasn't something that I had to deal with. I was brought up with the notion that men always put the seat down after use due to common courtesy, however, when I said this to my current boyfriend, all hell broke loose: "Equality! Why should I have to touch it and you don't! It only takes a second to put down!" All these logical arguments which infuriated me to no end because it seemed there was going to be no resolution with just a plea. Eventually I demanded that it would ALWAYS be put down when visiting my family home, he shall do as he pleases with it in his home (where he lives with 3 guys) and I may or may not have rigged the seat in my uni house to always come back down.

2. Sleep cuddling/ spooning

This is something I loved most about being in a relationship, falling asleep in the arms of the person you love and finding a balance of cover- on, cover- off percentage to counteract the extra body heat. Nope, not anymore. My current boyfriend rejects the practise of spooning in bed entirely- to a soul crushing degree whereby even an arm or a leg on his skin is too much. He says that finding the perfect temperature is key to him falling asleep and I mess this up... So I may as well be sleeping in a separate country with the lack of contact past 10pm. This is an irreconcilable notion of his.

3. Forgetful even when reminded

This is small but has occurred many a time in my relationship, after returning from India I found my headphones to have been left in his bag, which was still with him there. I reminded him countless times to bring them back to England, maybe once a day for 2 weeks. It was a big deal to me as I gym a lot so I needed my better headphones. On the DAY of his return I said "Yay! You're coming back and so are my headphones!" to which he feebly informed me that his roommate had accidentally taken them. Never to be seen again. Same thing with a bottle of vodka I left at his house: 2 or 3 reminders to just put it in his car and bring back to me on his 2 hour drive. Still waiting. And when I asked to borrow his hoover, every single time he showed up at my house "Did you bring the hoover?". The list goes on and on.

4. Laptop obsessed

Laying in bed next to a naked woman, freshly shaved legs and perfumed up, he would rather "chill out" and focus on his laptop or whatever film we are watching. We are allowed to cuddle now because he isn't trying to sleep yet. Don't get me wrong I'm into films but come on... anything better we could be doing?

5. Payment

I can't remember the last time he picked up the bill for dinner- we split everything. EVERYTHING. I'm trying to be super enlightened about it and embrace equality and all but sometimes it's nice to not have to ask the waiter to divide our bill and fumble in my bag while they wait for us to each pay our halves. Even at the supermarket. I once read in a book that a man would never ask his 'dream girl' pay for dinner. I had never paid for a date in my life in 20 years so in an independent, feministic way... I hate it.

6. Resentment

He once accused me of spending too much time with him because "I've got nothing else on in my life"... relationship suicide at its best. I don't know where he bought this new high horse but I immediately slapped him the heck off of it. Since this comment I have prioritised time differently- to my friends and family and actually want to be around him less. I resent him for it. I frequently imagine myself kicking and punching him when we are together... that's healthy right?

7. Romance

One of the most frustrating characteristics of this man is his lack of romance and contentment in life. Yes, being content is a great thing, especially in a relationship, but not to the point where the effort stops. Maybe it's because we are students and don't have much money but I can't remember the last time I wore makeup for a plan with him- instead I am texted on the day to see if I "Wanna hang tonight, netflix and chill in bed?". To his credit, sometimes he does cook... but trying to be excited about laying silently in bed watching TV for the 4th time that week is like drawing blood from a stone. We are young, lets go on an adventure!!!!

8. Ignorance

When any other mood besides happiness or arousal occurs, he suddenly becomes stupid Stanley and cannot seem to grasp enough inference to realise something's up. Or just ignored the mood hoping it will go away. One day I spent all of the day in bed feeling lifeless and really fucking down; I messaged saying "Having a low day" to which the reply was "You ok?" No? I just said? Obviously come over... and bring treats for me to eat. Nah, way too much effort to indulge in these emotions.

10. He's cute, I'm weak

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A very '10 things I hate about you' ending- and altogether post really- but its true. I hate that whenever he really annoys me I am so easily won over by a smile or a hug. I wish it were easy to stay mad and drive the point home but I can barely last a second after the deadly combination of funny voice and a cheeky face and I hate myself for it. I believe its okay to hate some things about your partner, though, you'd be doing well to find someone who suits you like Lilly and Marshall (HIMYM reference) and even they sparred over dirty dishes.

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