1. Zac won the award for Best Shirtless Performance (obviously, there was NO competition).
2. But he was wearing his shirt, and Rita Ora knew that had to be fixed.
3. And after she ripped off his buttons and exposed his beautiful torso, she tried to put it back on…
4. But Zac, man of the people, knew better.
5. HE KNEW WHAT WE NEEDED. HE RIPPED THAT DUMB, STUPID SHIRT OFF AND THREW IT ON THE FLOOR WHERE IT BELONGS.
6. And he flexed. Oh my god he flexed so hard.
7. And gave us the double salute, while he just stood there.
8. Then he gave another salute because he knew that he just made America proud.
9. *wipes dribble off chin*
10. He also did this lip thinggggggsjkndflgjmslkdfjgmlskdjgfmlsg.
11. AND THEN SENT US KISSES AND WE ALL DIED.
12. Praise it all.
13. And thank you, Rita Ora, for being an outstanding citizen of the world by doing what you did.
- The Women's March on Washington was one of the largest protests in the city's history.
- Trump's spokesman held a press conference to blame grass coverings for "minimizing" the crowd at the inauguration 🤔
- Members of the national security community reacted with shock after Trump attacked his critics while giving a speech at CIA headquarters.
- "SNL" featured a shirtless Vladimir Putin celebrating America's newest President.