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We Need To Talk About Voldemort’s Dick

Uh...spoiler alert.

Posted on

If you've already read the new Harry Potter book — which isn't a book but a script — then continue reading. If you haven't, then this post will be a spoiler and also mostly about Voldemort's dick, just FYI.

I mean, Voldemort having a penis didn't even seem possible.

The fact that Bellatrix and Voldemort had a love child has me so fucked up. I never thought he had a penis until now. Am I the only one??😖😧


Because everyone and their mother (literally) had the same thought: Voldemort didn't even have a nose, and now you want us to believe he has a dick????

My moms response to Voldemort having a daughter: "he barely had a nose, how the hell did he have a penis?"


Voldemort didn't even have a nose and you expect me to believe he had a penis? A penis that HE USED? Nah bruv.


However, the whole ~having a child together~ just doesn't add up. I mean, as I just mentioned, he was barely a human. Like, five seconds before he and Bellatrix supposedly had this kid, Voldemort was a tiny weird melting alien baby.

UNLIKELY!!! And yet, here we are.

The biggest spoiler of the cursed child is that Voldemort has a working penis

Till then, sorry for making you think so much about Voldemort's penis. JK I'm not. :)