PEOPLE, THE CDC HAS SPOKEN...AGAIN.
The CDC’s new policymaker:
This time, they have changed their minds and decided you only need to quarantine for 5 days instead of 10.
Because of these frequent and seemingly random changes from the good ol' CDC, people have JOKES. You've probably seen a variation of the joke format "the CDC says...," and so have I! A LOT OF THEM. Here are funny ones.
1.
The CDC says stay home but not if there’s something cool going on.
2.
The CDC said let go and let god 🙏🙌
3.
The CDC says that Covid can have a little salami as a treat
4.
The CDC says you can now ask “what are we” after 5 dates.
5.
The CDC says whoever smelt it is no longer necessarily the one who dealt it.
6.
The CDC says just follow your heart
7.
the cdc is just like uhhhh yeah it's totally up to you, I'm honestly down for whatever
8.
The CDC said just wear jeans and a cute top
9.
The CDC recommends that you just be a silly goose
10.
The CDC says you can stop isolating if “the vibes are off”
11.
The CDC just announced you can walk right up to bin of carrots at the grocery store and start eatin outta there like a horse
12.
The CDC says just go out there and start licking people.
13.
BREAKING: The CDC says you can now quarantine at work as long as you’re being productive, anyone slacking WILL die
14.
The CDC says you can now wipe back to front
15.
the cdc said it is what it is
16.
the cdc says eat shit and die
17.
The CDC says you can dress like a mime and pretend to be in a box for 5 days instead of quarantining.
18.
The CDC says you can now wipe back to front
19.
the CDC says it’s now okay to touch the stove as long as it’s turned on first
20.
The CDC recommends that you're forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the immonium thygocolate,
21.
The CDC now recommends beer before liquor.
22.
the cdc recommends that you should release your inhibitions and feel the rain on your skin
23.
The CDC said
24.
The CDC said if you have Covid just keep that shit to yourself
25.
The CDC says girls just wanna have fun
26.
the cdc just said it’s okay to kiss a whale gently on the forehead
27.
The CDC really said circle circle dot dot
28.
the cdc said that if your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer
29.
The CDC said:
30.
The CDC says you don’t have to cook chicken! Just stick a big wet cutlet in your mouth.
31. In conclusion:
the cdc really said