1. This guy came out to announce the birth of the baby and was like, “LOOK AT MY BELL.”
2. And then was like, “YOU GUYS ON THE RIGHT, ALSO LOOK AT MY BELL.”
3. And he had on a BEAUTIFUL BIB TO CATCH HIS DRIBBLES (IF THAT SHOULD HAPPEN).
4. With frilly sleeves that look like the top of a baby’s tiny socks…
5. And he was wearing CLOGS furnished with perfectly shined buckles…
6. And he had so many badges and was like, “LOOK AT MY BADGES!!!”
7. Then he spoke.
8. And he was like “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.”
9. And “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
10. And “AHHHHHSHEGBSGBDSFKGJSLFJKNDKFAHHHHHHHHH”
11. AND HE JUST KEPT SCREAMING AND CRYING AND ASKING HIS MOM FOR CANDY.
12. And even though the veins in his neck were about to burst, he kept yelling because he really wanted that candy even though it was before dinnertime.
14. AND THEN HE LOOKED AT THE PRESS AREA AND THESE GUYS WERE THERE.
16. I love the town crier the end.
- Donald Trump claims Google's search engine was biased in burying bad news about his rival Hillary Clinton.
- A teenager was taken into custody Wednesday after he shot two students and one teacher at an elementary school in South Carolina.
- "Hamilton" pulled back the curtain on race and Broadway, but these actors show how far theater still has to go 🎭