These Five Questions Will Determine Why You're Still Single
You are just really, really, really damn good-looking. If anyone stands next to you, they will look like an ugly troll doll. I’m talking, like, troll hair and all. They’re going to look like a 3-inch troll doll. No one on this planet has beauty like yours. Honestly, you're better off alone, because when you walk there are like beams of light that shine off you and nobody should block that.
Remember when Miley Cyrus said "Nobody's perfect" in her hit 2006 song "Nobody's Perfect”? No? OK. Doesn’t matter. You’re PERFECT.
Is this Mrs. Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter? I thought you were married. Doesn’t matter. You’re literally single because you’re literally Beyoncé. Stick with me here. Trust me. Nice to meet you, Bey.
Let’s be honest: You just don’t need some lame-ass sucker holding you down!