15. Comet Galaxy
This galaxy sucks and I hate it. Look at it. It’s boring. It’s dull. It has no personality and probably hangs out with its grandma on Friday nights. Also REAAAALLLLLLL original name. COMET? Come on, that’s been used by other things tons of times, like COMETS.
12. Large Magellanic Cloud
The only reason this is better than the Small Magellanic Cloud is because it’s bigger (hence the “LARGE”). But really it just looks like a bunch of stars hanging out in a crowded bar. And the name? Basically it’s just a LARGE CLOUD. Clouds are for SKIES, not for outer space.
11. Messier 81
They probably named this galaxy Messier 81 because it’s just a mess. A big. Hot. Mess. It’s not UGLY, but it’s definitely not a Victoria’s Secret model. It just looks like a big blob of glue. As far as galaxies go, it’s not the worst, but it’s FAR from the best.
4. Whirlpool Galaxy
Forget what I said about the Pinwheel Galaxy and its spirals because THIS is a true spiraled galaxy. And it’s named after the best refrigerators.* Also it looks like cinnamon roll. WELL DONE, GALAXY.
*Not actually named after Whirlpool refrigerators.
2. Milky Way Galaxy
This is our galaxy (unless you are reading this from ANOTHER galaxy, in which case, DON’T EAT THE TUNA). ANYWHOO. This is our humble abode. Isn’t it pretty? We live here! We can show this guy off to our friends and brag about its abundance of beauty and life. (Yes, LIFE, we rule.) Somewhere in this galaxy you are sitting on your couch/bed/office chair/toilet. This is what’s outside. It would be number one, but you’ll see why it’s not.
1. Cartwheel Galaxy
BECAUSE THIS IS NUMBER ONE. LOOK AT IT. YOU ARE NOT ON ACID (or maybe you are and then I can’t even IMAGINE what it looks like). It’s like a piece of candy fell into space, grew and became a giant piece of candy in space. It’s amazing. It’s stupendous. It’s almost unbelievable. I want to marry it.
- It's the third day of the Democratic National Convention. Here's where things stand 🇺🇸