1. Meet Alexander:
2. His last name is KOCH. It’s pronounced COKE. Like, oh, “I’d love an Alexander Koch-A-Cola.”
3. It’s important to know who he is because he is very wonderful looking.
4. It’s like someone put the DNA of Adam Brody and Andy Samberg in a dish and mixed them together.
5. And then this specimen raised up out of it and was like I’VE ARRIVED.
6. Have you seen his worry face?
7. BECAUSE IT’S ADORABLE.
9. And also the upper region of his chest area:
10. And his hair too.
11. Like, look how freaking messy and CUTE that floppy hair is.
12. He does this sexy thing where he puts his hand behind his head and stares into your soul:
13. And this other thing where he turns to the side and is all, “Look at my perfect stubble.”
16. If you were wondering if he could pull off having one of his eyes covered with some of his hair, then the answer is YES.
17. So even though on TV he plays some creepy scary dude that winks at you like a creepy scary dude…
19. The End.
Photos, unless otherwise sourced, courtesy of Alexander Koch.
- We've compiled an extensive (but not exhaustive) list of lies, exaggerations, and bullshit from Trump's first 100 days in office 💯
- Donald Trump said in an interview he thought being president would be easier than his life as a businessman.
- Arkansas executed Kenneth Williams Thursday night — just days before one of the state's execution drugs expires.
- Fyre Festival — organized by Ja Rule and billed as a luxury event — has turned into a total shitshow and people are livid 💸😱